Unwillingly bitten
by Shakespearelover21
Summary: Everybody was quiet after Mallory had spoken, the reality of what Paul had done was settling in and it wasn't a very good reality. "She can't live without you now P . . . But I don't think that's gonna be because she doesn't want to."
1. Are you okay?

**Author's note:** _okay so I've been gone for a very long time and I needed that. I've realized my mistakes with the last story and after some kindly given and very much appreciated constructive criticism. I have hopefully improved somewhat. It's been three years and I deleted my other story but, I hope this story will be received well and can make your day :)._

 _If you're reading this you're reading my story and I thank you for it._

 **Disclaimer _:_** _I do not own twilight._

 **- _xx_ -**

 ** _XXXX_**

 ** _Rae-Rae_**

Are you okay?

Is probably the question I loathe the most at this point.

Ever since my father died a year ago it's all I've been hearing, it feels like everybody's vocabulary suddenly got limited to Are, You and Okay. Specifically in that order.

It was frustrating.

Of course I appreciated their concern for me and knew that in some way they were trying to show me that they cared. But why did it feel like everybody was only asking me.

I have 2 older sister's and people mostly just tell them to stay strong or Keep pushing. Like I wasn't being strong, or keeping it pushing.

It was almost like they were expecting me to fall apart any moment.

Like a two year old child.

I am 21.

My dad died when I was 20, Yea sure I wasn't exactly and adult, but I wasn't a child either. I'm not saying that it wasn't heartbreaking and surprising because it was, but I wasn't a child anymore, I was well aware of death and the way it sunk it's claws in you. I know what it entails and how to handle the pain and aftermath.

I mean I wasn't angry when it happened. I was just sad.

And honestly for a while I did wallow in my sorrow, but that didn't mean that I was incapable of handling it, I mean my dad just died off course I was sad and closed off.

But to everybody else it wasn't the way I handled my fathers death. It was the fact that I wasn't able to handle my father's death as 'Well' as my sister's.

Something I thought was really demented.

Because honestly who decided when something was done well or not, especially mourning. Everybody mourned in their own way, and because I chose not to ignore or try to move past my grieve I was immediately the one to be pitied.

I was immediately the weak sister.

Honestly, I don't remember the day my father died very well. All I remember was the feeling of near suffocation that came over my lungs as my mother relayed what had happened to me.

I felt like I was going to choke from the amount of oxygen in the air.

Like just keeping myself alive was hard.

I remember the distinct look of panic that filled my mother's face, as I struggled to take oxygen into my lungs. It was almost as if I was seeing her face morph in slowmotion, first there was this very undeniable portrait of agony on her face. And then it quickly turned to soul gripping panic. Her long curtain of black hair whipped across my face as she dashed forward in an attempt to catch me.

Like I said, I don't remember much of what happened that day, but I remember my mother's facial expression.

I remember her pain.

And her fear.

My mother, Cassandra Crane But more commonly known as Cassie. She was Native American; Quileute to be exact. And she was proud of it.

She would often tell us that she didn't regret leaving Lapush. But she regretted not going back, Mom wasn't ever dishonest and it showed in the way she spoke so honestly about her regrets and mistakes in life.

She told us that she had indeed been afraid of the backlash she would get for marrying an African American man. It wasn't something that was commonly done in her community. And honestly she was scared of the rejection she would be met with upon her return, She didn't want people to reject her husband and she didn't want anybody to treat us differently because we were biracial.

She didn't want us to be in pain because of her selfishness, so even though she missed Lapush she stayed in Chicago, Illinois.

And yet here we were, a year after my father's death, we were moving to Lapush. To stay with my grandmother .

The morning my mom told us we'd be moving to Lapush. Was a relief more than anything. I think none of us could stand to live in that house any longer, it just felt empty without my father around.

So none of us complained.

The only one that complained was my Aunty Chachi. But we promised her that we would visit and she promised us she would visit as well, My Nana Nita cried but understood.

"Rae ..."

Honestly I didn't know what Lapush would be like, but I knew that I didn't want to stay in Chicago anymore.

"Raegan ..."

There wasn't much there for us anymore, besides heart breaking memories and . . .

"Raegan!"

I looked up at my older sister, Taercy. Taercy was 25 years old, and the most extra person you would ever meet.

And when I say extra, I mean it.

She once showed up to my cousin Chuchi's wedding in a white ballgown. You could imagine how well that went over with anyone. Especially because she was a bridesmaid. When she first walked in some people thought she was the bride.

Many people would say Taercy is, Self-absorbed and has a tendency to only think about herself. And honestly they would be right, Taercy is so immersed into her own world that she tends to ignore everything else but herself.

Although I'd like to think she doesn't do it in purpose because I'm her sister.

Vanity was something Taercy marvelled in, and it wasn't something anybody in our family appreciated.

We tried to stay as humble as possibly due to our religion.

Well it's more of a way of life really, but . . .

Yes I am a Christian, I got my Love for God from my Father, I remember how much he loved God and how much he shone in happines whenever we went to church.

That made me Love God, just seeing happiness and acceptance embodied through my father. It made me want to exude that as well.

"Rae, have you seen My white circle bag?"

It was funny Taercy almost looked like she was accusing me of something. Probably of stealing her imaginary circle bag. "You mean have I seen My white circle bag." I asked sarcastically.

Already I could see the tell-tale, flash of anger in her eyes. Which basically meant that she didn't care it was mine, she wanted it and so she would have it.

Needless to say a lot of people thought I was the older sister.

"Whoever's white circle bag it is, I need it." She said and promptly held her hand out, mind you we were actually in my new room.

I was just folding up my clothes and I have off course seen many a circle and many a white bag float by. But I wasn't going to borrow her much of anything with the attitude she was portraying.

Yes, I was a nice person but I also wouldn't enable my sister's tendency to believe that she was the only person alive on this planet. So either she would ask nicely or I would put her out of my room.

Nicely.

"Well then, go ask Whoever." I said and shrugged as I folded another t-shirt.

"Rae, I don't have time for any of your little games. I have a Job interview and you are seriously getting, me late." She said and stomped her foot on the floor. Her eyes bugging out of her face.

"Whether you get or don't get the job has nothing to do with wearing a white circle bag." I snorted, like I said . . .

 **Extra**.

"Where is your job interview anyway?" I asked curiously.

Taercy narrowed her eyes, the annoyance in them was clear and honestly I was amused by it. Taercy went to beauty school for two years and was a hairdresser, her long life dream was to open a salon but at the moment she made due with working at one.

"One of Mom's old friends opened a salon/barbershop down the road and Mom put in a good word for me ... It doesn't really pay as much as in Chicago, But it means I won't have to depend on Mom and Gran for money." She said and folded her hands over each other.

"Amazing that you've actually considered Mom and Gran in your decision." I said and clapped sarcastically, again Taercy didn't appreciate that.

"Listen Tae, if you wanna borrow my Bag. All you gotta do is ask." I said sympathetically, I had poked enough fun at her for now. And she had a Job interview to ease mom's burden. And that was actually a good amount of Progress for one day.

I know what you're thinking, 'why are you on her like that?'. And honestly I just want her to do better, it's hard for me too and the fact that she doesn't acknowledge anybody's pain but her own makes me furious sometimes.

"Can I please borrow it." She asked mockingly, I rolled my eyes but pointed to my closet, "I keep all the small bags in the bottom drawer."

The squeal that came out off her mouth next was deafening. "Thank you Rae!" She said happily, grabbing the bag and smiling brightly at me. "That bag, was one of the few bags I splurged on . . . Don't ruin it."

The smile I got in answer actually made me want to rip my Bag from her arms.

That was officially the last time I would probably see my Bag alive.

"Tae, You ready?"

Elaery, our eldest sister standing at a solid 28, asked as she stepped into my room. A grey turtle neck and grey slacks. Clung to her body, making her look like a grey garbage bag. And the curtain of long sleek black hair wasn't helping.

As far as looks went, Elaery was the one that looked more like our mother. With her smooth copper skin and long Raven hair. But out of all of us Elaery was the least fashionable.

Elaery was beautiful, but she hid it behind thick black hair that went down to her waist, and bangs that stopped just above her eyes and Clothes that weren't flattering at all.

Don't get me wrong, bangs are amazing, just her bangs not so much.

"Yea, let me just go get my shoes and You, Rae don't worry. I'll take good care of the baby." The sarcasm basically dripped off her voice and I was really regretting borrowing her my Bag.

Taercy walked out of my room. 'Please Jesus let her be back with that bag, it cost me 300 dollars.' I inwardly whispered, hoping that our Lord and saviour would be able to save my sister from her own stupidity and hopefully my wrath.

"You taking her?" I asked Elaery before she walked down the stairs. Elaery nodded, a gentle smile on her face. "Mom went to work with her car, and I'm going towards Sue's diner. She offered me a Job."

I grimaced, Elaery was actually a dental hygienist. And the fact that now all of us - Well except Tae - weren't able to do the jobs we knew we could do anymore was too much.

I hadn't actually officially worked as a nurse yet. I only just got my degree and was hoping to start at a hospital a while ago. But when my father died I wasn't up for working in hospitals. And I'm still not up for it.

Hospitals only bring back memories for me, and I want to steer clear from them for a while.

Though in the meantime, My mom used her amazing connections and found a young woman of about Elaery's age who's looking for a Nanny. After 2 conversation, one by phone and the other at the diner. I got the job.

Which I'm excited about, I love kids and the pay is decent. Off course I'd be making much more as a nurse but that's expected.

"Doing what?" I asked.

"I'm mostly gonna be making coffee, making pastry's and helping to plate up. Nothing major"

Elaery answered.

I was worried that Elaery was going to crumble under the anxiety of moving but I can see she's somehow determined to make this work.

"Until there are more job opportunities or some dental hygienist loses their job. I need to bring some money in and this is not such a bad way." The whisper in her voice was something I recognized as anxiousness, I was sure anxiety was eating away at her at the moment. But I could see that she was trying to keep strong and I wouldn't disturb her confidence.

"Yea, I get it."

She smiled sympathetically at me.

"Listen, everything's going to be okay Rae. We're going to have to cut back on expenses a little, but we are going to be fine."

Her words stayed stuck in my room even after she left. And they stayed stuck in my heart long after that, I probably sat there for an hour. Thinking about why she was reassuring me, I was fine with it.


	2. It's Pig-Latin

**Author's note:** _hey Friends and readers. I'm back at it again with another chapter. It didn't turn out the way I wanted it to. But I guess I edited what I could and I fixed what I could, this chapter is kinda short and I want to elongate the chapters more so I can give them some more substance. I hope you all like the story._

 _If you're reading this you're reading my story and I thank you for it._

 **Disclaimer** _ **:** I do not own twilight. _

**_-xx-_**

 _ **XXXX**_

 _ **Rae-Rae**_

"Ma, have you seen the boxes with my books in them!?" I asked loudly, the books I owned were some of my most prized possessions, and that was mainly because my father had bought most of them for me. My father would get me a book every Other month. It was probably one of the things I cherished most about our relationship. That no matter what he was very immersed into my life. He wanted to know who I was and I was always awed by that. I had friends whose parents were always trying to mold them into the image they had created for them.

But our father was different.

It was almost as if he had given us guidelines at the beginning of our lives and then had decided to allow us to make what we wanted out of ourselves, he wanted us to choose who we were going to be. And although we may not have turned out the way he had imagined us to be.

*cough* **Taercy** *cough*

The point of it was to allow us to be who we wanted to be.

When I turned 18 he sat me down and explained this exact theory to me, and I remained speechless, we had chosen who were to this day by ourselves, our parents had only instilled the rules of society and of their house into us. After that we had further developed ourselves through observation and our own skills. And as much as I would love to admire that, it just made me think about what a strange father I had.

Used to have. . .

"Mama!" I tried again, usually my mom would have already come to my rescue.

"Ma?" I said worriedly and finally got my butt up to see if she had been assassinated by a pack of wild mountain lions which I am a hundred percent sure lived in these woods.

"Ma, I been calling you! Why aren't you saying anything back?" I questioned and turned down the stairs into the living area and was met with two men that looked like they had rocks underneath their skin, not to mention they were shirtless and I was pretty sure that it wasn't that hot, after all this is La Push, it couldn't be jumpsuit weather already because if it was I'm sure I would've seen Tae walking around in those thongs she calls shorts.

"Rae-Rae, I didn't hear you, these lovely guys have been cracking jokes ever since they arrived."

My mom answered and giggled. . .

Okay so here's the thing, I don't care that she giggled, because she's a woman I mean it's what we do. Even if it's a ridiculously middle-aged woman.

So here is the part that gets me, she slaps both boys right on the chest and I'm like confused cause . . .

Why?

But then again, these guys were ...

Something else.

"Rae-Rae, these are my fellow council members, Jacob Black and Samuel Uley, they run the neighbourhood watch." Noni (My grandmama) was apparently very proud of these two men and honestly if they made my Noni feel safe then They were okay with me.

I trusted my Noni's judgement.

"Nice to meet you." I said calmly, all while eyeing them up, I mean I trusted my Noni's judgement and I wouldn't judge a book by its cover. But it was just unwise to not observe these guys, they looked like the kind of people that could squeeze your liver out if you crossed them.

"It's nice to meet you as well Raegan, Kamenna has told us a lot about you."

I frowned and turned to my grandmother who looked devious and bashful.

And yup there it was, the embarrassment I've been looking for ever since I came down the stairs.

I'd almost missed it.

"Oh stop it you two, before she starts to think that I've been saying embarrassing stuff about her."

Okay so here's the thing, the way she said it was believable, but that look in her eyes let me know that she's been deliberately trying to embarrass me in front of these and many other gorgeous men.

Besides I know my Noni, and she would embarrass me if only to amuse herself or keep me away from them.

I looked at her again and her devious smile only widened.

Yea, she totally did it to amuse herself.

"Rae-Rae would you mind helping me pour some refreshments for the guys. They've been such a great help, bringing in the boxes and all that." I pushed down the urge to purse my lips and nodded silently.

I followed her to the kitchen and huffed, "spill the beans, you old Bag of Tomato's . . . What's the deal."

Noni smiled and chuckled, "those men are attractive, right?"

I snorted and folded my hands over each other, "attractive might be an understatement."

These men were beyond attractive, they were freaking gorgeous, and fantastically ripped, if there was ever a man that came close to perfection, it would have to be either of the two man standing in our living space right about now. "Yes, so La Push is filled up to the brim with men that look like that, and I know because I am part of the council, I'll need you and both of your sisters to stay away from men like that . . . They're dangerous."

My Noni, always straight to the point.

There was a snort standing ready in the back of my throat but, when I looked up from where I was getting two bottles of Juice, I noticed the expression on my Noni's face, it was pretty severe and honestly I couldn't quite understand how two men like that were deserving of an expression so severe.

Of course they looked like they could squish my soul out of me with their palms but . . . They seemed nice, and it was my Noni who taught me to never judge a book by its cover.

"Why?"

Simple and straight to the point, I guess I was just like my Noni in that sense.

Actually I was just like my Noni in every sense.

"Raegan, I've never steered you in the wrong direction and even now I would never do so . . . Please trust your Noni when I say.."

She paused briefly and looked up at me with another very heavy look that weighed me down.

"Stay away from those men."

I don't know whether it was the looks she gave me, or the desperation in her voice but I nodded.

 _ **XXXX**_

 _ **Elae**_

"I so hope this job doesn't suck." Tae huffed out, she was powdering her nose and making sure everything was set in order. Well on her face that is.

"I mean what if it does and I end up having to work at some shank of a Beauty shop." I chuckled lowly and watched the grimace form on her face. I could tell that to her these were probably very serious issues.

How I longed to be as simple as My younger sister so I too could just worry about Lipsticks and Beauty shop's.

But sadly life wasn't that kind.

"You know I called Joy this morning, and she was like. I look forward to meeting you, your mom said you a very eccentric and bright person and you know as well as I do that Eccentric is pig-latin for Extra."

I snorted and chuckled again, "I'm pretty sure that Rae has explained to you time and time again What Pig-latin actually means." I said and tried to hold back my laughter, Tae is a very amusing person and especially when she's nervous. She talks up a storm and most of it is hilarious nonsense.

"I'm probably gonna have to sit and stare at a bunch of ugly men, the whole day." She whined.

"Who told you Quileute men are ugly."

"Well nobody, but I figured there must be some reason mom left this place. I mean her friend's is Poppin, Noni is amazing and Lapush is just beyond beautiful." She began and motioned to the window, I suppose to prove her point, and she was right. Lapush gave off a sense of Calmth and serenity.

"So it must've been the abundance of unattractive men over here, or you know I guess. But I'm probably right you know I usually am." She said and shrugged as she applied lip stain to her lips.

I resisted the urge to say something. Which I often did, I was the older sister and part of my responsibility was to support progress and an environment in which both my little sister's felt like it was okay to come and tell me their problems.

Or just express their opinions in any way necessary.

I wanted to be their confidant.

When silence was finally there as Tae put on some lip stain, I decided to fill it with my own voice.

"You know not to mess that bag up right?" I asked carefully.

"Chill out Turtle neck, I won't." She said sarcastically, I sighed, she would probably ruin the bag and then I'd have to convince Rae not to murder her in her sleep.

"Make sure you don't because I won't stop Rae-Rae from choking you out in your sleep Okay, fishnets." I said humorously, Tae actually giggled and slapped my arm. "Yea Yea."

I stopped the car in front off the Salon, it wasn't a big place but it looked decent from the outside and it gave of a very comforting feeling.

"You know if she does choke me in my sleep, give all my shoes to cousin Chuchi, she'll take care of them."

I rolled my eyes and smiled sweetly, "I probably won't get the chance if Rae's really angry."

Taercy snorted before she stepped out of the car and made her way to the Salon.


	3. You're not supposed to eat banana peels

**Author's note:** _hello again beautiful readers. Thank you once again for taking the time to Read another chapter. And great thanks to my Beta heroicunicorn99, Yaay I'm really happy and satisfied with the chapter because of the changes you've made. Thank you so much for doing this._

 _Thank you to Myflutteringwings who faved this and thank you to Goldie Bella who followed this. I thank you for taking the time to Read this and I really appreciate it._

 _If you're reading this then you're reading my story and I thank you for it._

 **Disclaimer:** _I don't own twilight._

 ** _-xx-_**

 ** _XXXX_**

 ** _Rae-Rae_**

"Rae-Rae?"

I looked up at Kira who was once again bent over a banana peel. She's been eating bananas like crazy.

But she's also been trying to eat the peels.

"Yea, Little One?"

I had to hold back the amusement in my voice because I already knew what she was going to ask. She'd been asking the same question ever since my first day. Kira was different from any child I'd ever met. I was used to kids since I used to babysit back in Chicago too.

But the kids weren't usually this open with me from the get go, but Kira had no problems getting used to my presence or her mother being away from home. She's been attached to me from day one and hasn't been troublesome at all. It was a blessing really, she is so sweet and there are hardly any issues with her.

"Why can't I eat it?" She turned her eyes back to the banana peel in front of her on the table, frowning slightly.

A very simple question with a very simple answer. Technically, I suppose you could eat it. But I wonder if telling her that she could, in theory, eat the banana peel, was the right thing to do.

I decided to go with honesty, since I suck at lying, and I'm pretty sure even Kira would be able to tell.

Although watching Kira stuff the banana peel in her mouth made me wonder if saying yes was the right decision.

I chuckled and shook my head, "Kira, you can't just eat banana peels like that. They're very bitter and tough, so if you give it to me I'll make it taste yummy,". She looked back up at me. "Alright?"

Her facial expression changed immediately and she handed me the banana peel.

I doubt that I'm going to be able to make this banana peel taste yummy, but if she tries it and sees that it tastes bad she probably won't ask for it again.

So, why not?

"I want to try it."

The way she said it was so funny that I had to physically hold back the urge to burst out laughing.

She handed it to me with so much determination on her face.

It's so adorable. All that determination for a banana peel.

I took the banana peel from her and smiled, this kid was so freaking adorable. I filled up a pan with some water and carefully placed the banana peel in it. I'm sincerely Hoping that'll be responsible enough. And that her mother won't get mad at me for offering her daughter boiled banana peels.

"Can we make banana bread?"

Random.

I frowned. "Why do you wanna make banana bread, Little one?" I asked.

Kira is a major know-it-all. She corrects me all the time and I think it's so cute I sometimes mess up just for her benefit.

"Because Mommy and Dada are coming after work, and Dada loves banana bread."

Like I said, adorable.

"Okay then, I'll help you make banana bread after you finish the peel and I finish, doing these dishes alright?"

She hummed happily and I smiled. There was some part of me that regretted taking this job and wanted so badly to do what I was trained to do. But there was another part of me (An infinitely larger part) that just wanted to lay back and watch this little girl grow up. To just build myself back up and allow myself to be healed back by the gentleness that was Lapush.

I wasn't ready for the hospital yet and quite honestly I don't know if I'll ever be ready for it. All I know is that right now, I have to deal with getting the convoluted mess that is my life together.

I took out my phone and texted Kayla, her mom.

 _I'm about to give your daughter banana peels_

I was hoping this wouldn't seem to casual, but I also wanted to give her the impression that I knew what I was doing. I don't even know why I was texting her. I suppose I knew that there were parents that were weird about things like this.

They wanted every detail and they wanted to be able to control every detail.

I was pretty sure Kayla wasn't that kind of mom considering how laid back she was when we'd first met. She'd explained how she dealt with Kira and she'd also explained to me the way she disciplined Kira. Then she told me to discipline her if it was needed. She told me that no matter what, she trusted my Noni and that my Noni was the one that recommended me.

Of course, Kayla's methods were perfectly fine and also logical, since she was the mother, but I still felt a little uncomfortable. She wasn't my child, and just reprimanding Kira was something I found hard.

Let alone putting her on the stairs and telling her to reflect.

I doubt she would reflect. She's three. She probably doesn't even know what reflecting means.

My phone buzzed and I picked it up.

 ** _Okay, Just remember to boil it before you do_**

 ** _P.S you don't have to tell me about it, banana peels and Bleach are two different things_**

 ** _What I'm trying to say is, when it's bleach then you text. Now not so necessary._**

 ** _I'll be home later and bringing P with me._**

Okay good to know, she wasn't a ridiculously overprotective mom.

Although I wasn't sure about her bleach theory, I'm pretty sure I shouldn't only text her concerning bleach.

Kayla was pretty chill when it came to me. She didn't sweat the small stuff and encouraged me to feel free when watching Kira.

"Rae-Rae is my banana done?"

I looked up from my phone screen and nodded with a smile.

Kayla's kitchen was laid out like most houses in Lapush- very open and with a bar laid out by the sink. Kira was currently sitting there in her high chair while I was doing the dishes.

I turned around and readied the banana peel. I hoped that this wouldn't become a thing because of me.

I laid it up in front of her and chuckled as she inspected the flappy banana peel.

"Okay then, you just eat that while I get started on the banana bread alright ?"

Kira smiled enthusiastically as she smashed a piece of the banana peel into her mouth. She was definitely the most adorable little girl alive. She had me wrapped around her chubby little fingers.

 ** _XXXX_**

I chuckled as I looked down at Little Kira. She'd stubbornly refused to take a nap in the afternoon, and now she was fast asleep. Her mom and Dad hadn't even come home yet.

She'd been very excited to see her dad, it was a little sad really. According to Kayla, Paul was, while a very present father, a not so pleasant person.

I knew that Kayla was hesitant to talk about Paul, whenever she'd start to talk about him, a certain look would pop up in her eyes. I've yet to figure out whether that look is positive or not.

I honestly didn't know what to make of that, Paul wasn't there when I first met Kayla . . . Or when I met Kira.

When I asked why, Kayla just vaguely explained that Paul wasn't a people person, nor was he very supportive of her decision to hire a nanny.

That alone made me not so keen on meeting him.

But I suppose it was bound to happen someday, and today would probably be that day.

 _Eep._

Strapping a baby monitor connected to Kira's room through the loops of my jean skirt, I walked down the stairs, ready to clean up my mess and place my lasagne in the oven.

My job description was basically, watch Kira, clean up after Kira and make dinner. It was pretty basic, and I enjoyed cooking, so making dinner wasn't a big deal.

And suddenly there was pain. Everything was hurting, my lungs hurt with every breath, my eyes hurt with every blink, my limbs hurt with every movement and my heart hurt with every beat.

The pain was shooting through my body with every breath of my lungs and every breath of my heart.

 ** _Something was wrong!_**

I couldn't breathe, I couldn't take any breath into my lungs. The oxygen was burning a path through my windpipe. Making it impossible for me to take it in.

I held onto my chest and squeezed.

My heart was thundering in my chest, trying violently to release itself from the prison known as my rib cage.

I squeezed harder pleading for anything to calm down, pleading with my heart to be still. Pleading with my lungs to just breathe.

 _ **Just breathe!**_

I don't know what's happening.

I slid down the kitchen cabinets and tried to take deep breaths.

I tried to do anything but nothing was working. This felt like my father's death all over again.

 ** _What was happening to me?_**

"Raegan- Oh my God!"

I looked up and stared right into Kayla's face. She looked white as sheet paper, bent over me, her face looking panicked.

"I-l..." I could barely get a word out, and I couldn't form a coherent sentence.

"P, help me get her into the living room, I think she's having some sort of attack."

I didn't understand what was happening, but the pain was suddenly gone and I was enveloped in this warmth that slithered all over my body and into my veins.

Even though I'd desired to move just a moment ago, now I just wanted to be embraced and taken in by that warmth.

Until I reached those eyes.

 _Intense_

 _Possessive_

 _Angry_

I jolted and slammed my back into the kitchen cabinets and clutched my heart in my hands.

I had to get away from here.

 ** _I had to get away from him_**  
 ** _Immediately!_**

But he wouldn't let me, he looked upset for a moment, and then angry again as I tried to move away from his touch.

His aura and his presence were suffocating me. The intensity of his eyes was making it hard for me to think.

And just the way he looked at me made me want to rearrange my organs, there was something so frightening and haunting about the look that rested in Paul's eyes.

He didn't look happy that I was here, but he wouldn't let me leave either.

"Kayla?"

I whispered softly, trying in any way or form to regain some composure over myself. Paul was still bent over me as I practically lay on the floor.

There was no answer at all from Kayla and no reaction from Paul as he continued to menacingly stare me down. I tried to not to move or do anything that would upset him.

He looked like he would rip out my throat with his teeth if I made one move.

And I couldn't help it, no matter how you looked at it, Paul was huge and frightening, and I wasn't strong enough.

 _I broke down_

 ** _XXXX_**

 ** _Third_**

"And he just bolted . . ."

Taercy hummed and shook her head in disgust.

"You got one of those guys, huh?" She asked with the faked hesitancy that hairdressers were famous for.

Taercy had been working at this Salon for three days now and had become well acquainted with the staff and its customers.

The staff consisted of herself, Joy Ateara, and Joy's Daughter-in-law; Claire Ateara, who was also commonly referred to as Claire Bear, Claire the Bear, or simply Bear. They were the hairdressers, nail artists, and barbers in the salon.

"Yes, I mean who cheats and then bolts when he gets caught." The customer, whose name was Lillian and had come in to go from black to blonde, said with a scoff

"Assholes," Claire said clearly as she worked on another woman's nails, her statement was followed up by her other costumer's.

"Damn straight."

Joy shook her head and turned to Claire with a scolding expression on her face. "Bear sweety, mind your language. And Lillian, Hun, Claire is right, he's not good for you."

Lillian groaned and rubbed her hand over her face in despair, Taercy looked down at her and pursed her lip sadly. "Listen girl, men like that don't change, so don't go wasting your time on him."

Claire's customer decided again to follow that up with, 'I know that's right' making Claire and Taercy look at her weirdly.

"Damn Rhonda! It's been that hard, huh?" Taercy asked, slightly amused by the woman's commentary.

"Honestly, after Maxon left me last year. I decided to just do me because men aren't worth shit." Rhonda said indignantly.

Rhonda was a 37-year-old divorcee who had given her ex-husband Maxon the best years of her life. She had also given up her dream of having children for him, only to be dumped because he felt like no matter what, Rhonda resented him for the choice he made not to have kids.

Which Rhonda hadn't.

Everybody who knew Maxon knew it was an excuse for him to get a divorce.

"Not all men are shit," Claire said defiantly, referring to her amazing fiancé. Even Taercy honestly thought Quil had to have been carved from Holystone because he was so amazing. It was ridiculous.

He took care of Claire just like he was supposed to as a husband, and Claire was a handful. Taercy was amazed at how he was able to handle her without going prematurely gray.

"No, Claire, we know you're husband is a Pirate Angel . . . Now can I get back to my scumbag boyfriend?" Lillian asked sarcastically.

Taercy snorted a laugh, "What the Hell is a Pirate Angel?" She asked curiously.  
Lillian looked shocked that neither the hairdressers or the other customers knew what that was. She figured it must be a generational thing. "A pirate Angel is a guy that looks like a looting, thieving and raping pirate but is actually an angel."

All the women hummed in understanding, and Joy even nodded her head. "It makes perfect sense, and to be honest my son does look like a thieving pirate."

Rhonda nodded, "Yes, like little Seth Clearwater from down the street." Rhonda said and licked her lips.

"Only 24, but total pirate Angel." Joy grimaced at Rhonda's words. "Please, Rhonda. Don't. You did the same when my son turned 17, and this time I might really call the police." Another round of laughs went through the salon.

"Yeah, yeah, don't get your panties in a twist, Joy. I'm not a cougar." She said and snorted.

Taercy rolled her eyes, "17 and 37 goes from cougar to pedo. Just so you know in case you try anything."

Claire snorted loudly, and the two girls leaned over their customers to high five.  
"Can you all give me a break, I'm literally going through a grueling divorce . . . And Seth is 24. That's not so far off." She said and shrugged. Joy clicked her tongue and shook her head.

"Rhonda, seriously. I thought you were going to get yourself in order."

Rhonda looked offended for a moment, making both Taercy and Claire chuckle again.

"I don't need to get myself together, I'm basically already together. All I need is a pretty young thing to prove to Maxon that I don't need him."

Claire grimaced and wondered just how much this Divorce had really affected Rhonda as a woman.

"Rhonda, if you want to show Maxon you don't need him, you need to get yourself together. Trust me, my friend. A boy toy is just going to make you look," she paused for a moment. Claire didn't know what to say.

"Unstable." Taercy finished for her and hummed as she brushed some bleach through Lillian's hair.

Lillian nodded, "Tae is right, what you need is to get yourself back in order."

Joy hummed along with Taercy, agreeing in total with the girls.

She'd known Rhonda since she was born, and for that reason alone she'd had a feeling Rhonda wouldn't have been able to handle the divorce.

"Look, Lilly is painting her hair after breaking up with the asshole she was with. She feels like a change is what she needs right now." Claire said pointing out the obvious but also the unspoken blonde look Lillian was going for.

"Ugh. Bear, really, I'm not doing this for that Butthole.."

Joy snorted a laugh simultaneously amused and pitiful.

"Who exactly are you trying to fool? You may not be doing this for him but this whole Blonde Lilly situation is definitely because of him."

Another round of giggles and high five by Taercy and Claire.

 ** _XXXX_**

 ** _Elae_**

"It's apple, cinnamon, and then sugar," Leah said, taking the ingredients from me and dumping them into the mixing bowl.

Leah was Suzanne's daughter, and probably one of the only people I knew here in Lapush. The 30-year-old was married and had one 2-year-old son who was...

Well, he was alive. Kids weren't very fond of me, so I did my best to avoid them.

When she introduced him to me, I tried to keep as much distance as I could. Kids don't like me, so there was no need/want for me to be around them much.

"I'm never going to get the hang of this," I said. Annoyed I scooped up some of the filling Leah had just mixed into the pie crust.

Leah grinned and slapped my shoulder, which hurt. She was actually quite strong,

"It'll be alright, it's just pie."

I sighed and shook my head. "Not talking about the pie," I whispered.

I was 28 and still lived with my mother, with no prospects of moving out in the near future. My social life was basically dead, and I felt that this move had no prospect of relief, or release, despite what my mother said.

It certainly wasn't doing me any good.

At least I had had a meaningful job in Chicago that I could focus on. Here I was stuck making pies and waiting tables.

Not exactly my dream job.

"Elae, life is... Life. You gotta stop being so negative about it." Leah said, showing a rare moment of genuine kindness and vulnerability.

Leah had been pretty nice to me, nothing special though, and I'd always felt like she was indifferent to me.

"You know I've only known you for a couple of days, but you are surprisingly, hm, honest, and it shows in your facial expressions and the way you present yourself," Leah said, nonchalant as she helped me scoop pie fillings into crusts.

Leah was a big help to her mother. Even though it was Sue's diner, Leah and her husband invested in the diner and co-owned the place. That meant Leah hung around a lot. It was her day job.

"Don't be so negative about life. Bad things happen but if you wallow in them… That's when shit gets messed up." Leah said gently.

"Trust me," she continued. "Sometimes you have to be open to change, even if it's scary or you don't like it."

Somehow I still felt like she didn't understand me.

"I just feel like there's so much pressure on me, all the time. It's like I'm always looking out for everybody, but nobody's looking out for me."

Leah looked at me and snorted a little.

"Expectations are stupid," Leah said easily as she scooped another dollop of Apple goo into another pie crust. "When I was pregnant, I had a lot of people piling their versions of great mother's onto me . . . And it was driving me nuts."

Leah smoothed down the goop and a wistful smile appeared on her face. "But it was my husband who taught me that a life filled with expectations can only lead to disappointment."

She looked at my glum face and laughed.

"Cheer up, Elae! Don't worry about stuff, you'll be fine. You can come to me if you need anything. We can look out for each other."

Huh. Maybe I'd actually made a friend.

Impossible things happen all the time in Lapush I guess.


	4. I like her face

**author's note:** _hey beautiful readers. This chapter might be one my favourites I think it gives a glimpse into my version of Paul's character after ten years and I like it, I'm hoping that you will 2. I want to thank my Beta heroicunicorn99 for Beta-ing this, you're absolutely great._

 _Furthermore I want to thank strippedraw, KamAnDa, Kitty-Alphabet, and Livvie19 for the faves and/or follows. Thank you so much for reading this. it really means a lot to me._

 _if you are reading this, you're reading my story and I thank you for it._

 _ **Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight._

 **- _xx_ -**

 _ **XXXX**_

 _ **Rae-Rae**_

"He's having a hard time adjusting to preschool," Leah said with a sigh, the concern for her 2 year old finally showing. She loved her son more than anybody else in this world, and his well-being was one of the most important things to her.

"Karen called you too?" Jacob asked, as leaned against the counter.

At 26, Jacob had finally grown and matured into the Alpha he was always meant to be. Leah was amazed and thankful that he had grown into such a wonderful leader, husband, and father.

"Yes, she said he's still sulky everytime we leave," Leah said, and nervously bit her bottom lip.

Jacob crossed the kitchen in two long strides and wrapped his beautiful she-wolf in his arms.

Leah might have seemed tough, but she was quite mushy on the inside. It showed when she talked about her son.

Jacob and Leah were not an imprinted couple, but Leah bore Jacob's mate mark.

A mate mark was when you exclusively claimed a woman as your own and she therefore in any sense of the word became your property.

It was binding.

Most imprinted couples eventually got mate marks, but not every imprinted couple felt the need to be bound like that.

Imprinting and Mate marking were far off from each other and bore more consequences and issues for the women, but Leah and Jacob had known a week into their relationship that they needed more intimacy.

They needed to know each other on a basic and animalistic level.

The mate mark did that for them.

Leah leaned into her husband and buried her face into his chest.

She often wondered if going back to work so soon was a good idea.

She wondered if she should just stay home with William for a couple more years, at least until he was the right age for kindergarten.

"I'm sure he's just unfamiliar with it Lee. Come on, give our little boy some more credit, he's a fighter remember?" Jacob said with a chuckle, "Just like his mom."

William was born prematurely, and there were a few weeks they weren't sure if he was going to make it. Despite that, their baby boy fought through it, and here he was; about to celebrate his third birthday in a couple of months.

"Maybe you're right," Leah sighed, ever since they'd gotten the mark, arguing with Jacob and disagreeing with him became a hell of a lot harder. She supposed that's why she and many other women in their pack usually just shut up when their men were having conversations. It saved them the fighting effort.

Debating and arguing were a lot harder when you had to fight your husband and the instinct to instantly obey him.

In some ways, Leah could understand why there were imprinted women who chose not to have their imprints mark them.

There were some women in the past for which the mark had ended in tragedy.

"I'm always right," Jake answered and smirked.

Leah slapped her palm into Jacob's forehead and snorted, "You're such a Dork."

Jacob smiled and kissed her sweetly, "But I'm your dork."

Leah snorted again at her husband, and ran her hands through his hair, thinking about what Jacob had done for her. How Jacob had brought her from being this bitter bitch to this positive, lovesick, confident woman who ran a business.

She would be six feet under without Jacob.

Leah got brought out of her musings when rapid knocks sounded at the door. Both Leah and Jake sniffed the air and they could clearly smell Paul, though his signature musky scent was layered under a blanket of the sour smell that they recognized as anger.

Jacob sighed and laid his forehead against Leah's. Leah smiled and kissed him once more. "Go, before P knocks down our door."

Jake snorted, and rolled his eyes as he backed away from his wife, "He won't unless he wants to be knocked down himself."

He walked out of the kitchen, followed by the sound of Leah's laughs. Walking over to the door, the Alpha wondered if there was an emergency. Paul hadn't knocked on his door like this since Kayla told him she was pregnant.

That alone was a whole ordeal, but he had been there for Paul and they had talked all night about what kind of father Paul would be. And now, four years later, Paul was an amazing father. Most of the Pack dad's went to him for advice. Even Jacob had found himself asking Paul for parenting advice on several occasions.

He opened the door and Paul immediately stormed in and without letting Jacob say a word he blurted out. "I imprinted."

Jacob blinked in surprise, and could faintly pick up Leah's surprise snort and then the distinct sound of liquid spraying over a surface.

Jacob was Alpha, and therefore he knew his pack mates intimately.

He knew how to handle every situation because he knew them so well, their personalities were engraved into him.

And it was because he knew Paul so well that he knew, that no matter what, he could not react the same way with Paul as he did with the others.

Looking at Paul's face right now. He knew that Paul was Angry. Angry, with a capital 'A'.

Even after ten years, Paul still hadn't learned how to take control of that vicious Animalistic anger.

Jake nodded, closed the front door and hummed, "Want a beer?" He asked, to nobody in particular as he made his way to the kitchen. There, Leah stood doing the dishes, her mind going a mile a minute. He knew her well enough to know she was bursting with questions.

Jacob ignored his wife, grabbed two beers and walked back into the living room where Paul was already pacing the room, his anger pulsing around him. Jacob was so receptive to his packmates as the Alpha that he could practically touch Paul's anger.

"Here," he said calmly, as he handed Paul the beer and sat down on his lazy chair.

Jacob was completely ready to talk some sense into Paul before they addressed the key issues. Somebody needed to be calm and level-headed.

Paul paced some more and took a large swig of the beer.

"I imprinted." He repeated.

Jake said nothing but watched Paul take another swig, debating on what type of approach was best for Paul. He was a complicated person, and unlike with Jared and Embry, he supposed a congratulations would be inappropriate. Paul wouldn't take it well.

Now, looking at how Paul's eyes were flashing from green to yellow and back, Jacob realized that while Paul wasn't particularly happy about this, his wolf was even more so displeased.

Paul's pacing had even caught Jake's wolf's attention and he could feel the other part of himself that was the Alpha wolf map out solutions in his head. Jacob's wolf wasn't very aggressive, but he was dominant, commanded attention, required subordination and demanded respect.

Jacob himself knew that as Alpha, respect was a big deal. Luckily, in the ten years Jacob had been Alpha, he was able to establish this early on.

Now, when there was the occasional "Paul incident" (as Leah dubbed it), his wolf wouldn't even bat an eye.

It was his ironclad fist that made Jacob the only wolf Paul respected. Jacob had no mercy, and even now that he was older he was still just as stern.

It did, however, take Jacob a while to take control of that dominant nature. A couple of years ago he would've beat the shit out of Paul, if only for coming around his family with that kind of aggression.

However, he realized that his aggressive nature should not be allowed near those who could be hurt by it. Now he was older. He knew better, but he also knew that if Paul stepped one tone out of line, he would crash his head into the floorboards.

"On who?"

Paul stopped drinking for a moment and dragged the back of his hand over his mouth slowly before hissing. "Kamenna's granddaughter."

Jacob closed his eyes in exhaustion. Paul was gonna get a lot of crap for this.  
"Kamenna's granddaughter?"

Paul shot him a look and took another long swig, conveniently long enough for Leah to walk into the living room with a beer, and switch the empty one in Paul's hand out for a new one before retreating silently back to the kitchen. Paul seemed to not even notice as he took another long swig from the new bottle.

Jake whistled and took a swig of his beer.

By this point, he definitely needed one.

Scratch that, he thought, I might be in need of some whiskey.

"This is not going to end well, The elders aren't going to like this."

Paul scoffed, "I don't care about the Damn Elders."

He didn't care about the elders.

The Elders had no right to make any decisions for him, they didn't really care about him or the other wolves. Everybody knew the council just wanted the wolves around to protect their asses.

Jacob watched Paul for a moment. The wolf part seemed quiet, and Paul was deeply immersed in his own thoughts.

"She was sick."

Jacob frowned.

Paul seemed deadly serious and scared as he stared at his Alpha.  
"What do you mean she was sick?"

"I mean, she looked like she was about to die."

There was a haunting tone to his voice that made Jacob shiver. Jacob could only imagine what it would feel like to watch your imprint go through it. He couldn't imagine what it would be like to see Leah go through that.

"I've been inside your head Jake, I know what imprinting looks like. This was not the same."

Jacob held back his urges to wrap his arms around his packmate. Right now, he was being Alpha, and even though he'd never seen Paul hurt like this, he couldn't blur the lines between Alpha-wolf Jacob and Family Jake.

"Paul, when you say she looked sick, what exactly do you mean?" Jake asked, his eyes flashing a yellow so riveting it made Paul snap back into the present.

He'd broken his beer bottle in anger, and was once again, riding a fine line between catching the Alpha wolf's attention for insubordination.

"She said she couldn't breathe. And she kept clutching her chest and just flapping around like a fish out of water."

Jacob growled lowly.

"It's been ten damn years and still new things pop up every day."

Jacob took another swig of his beer. Paul sighed and watched as Leah finally stepped into the living room, a plastic bag in hand and a compassionate look in her eyes.  
Jacob glanced at his wife, silently asking her for advice through their bond.

Naturally, she spoke up as she always did. Jacob would never dare to stop her. There were some lesser sides to this mate mark, but he wouldn't ever take advantage of it. He loved his wife way too much for that.

"P, It's up to you. We can't decide how to deal with your imprint and we know that you don't want the council involved in your matters. If you need us to take care of it with the council we will. But if you don't, then we'll leave you to it."

Jacob looked at Leah with wide eyes. He couldn't believe that she was actually suggesting they leave Paul to his own devices.

Paul had a bad attitude.

Was basically a sexist.

And very aggressive.

He couldn't just allow a guy like him to deal with his own imprint. It was like setting the spark on a bomb and then walking away hoping it would burn itself out.

Leah glanced at her husband and reached out through their bond. Urging her husband to trust her on this. No matter what, Paul was finally giving off a sense of calm like he knew exactly what to do about this.

Leah wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. She was willing to trust him on this, and because she was the Alpha female she could.

"Thank you, Lee, I got this."

Leah nodded, "Seriously Paul, anytime."

Paul nodded and took another swig of his beer before he set it down.

"She has a nice face."

Jacob snorted, "What?"

Leah scoffed, "And that's my cue to once again, retreat into the kitchen." She grabbed the broken beer bottle and left.

Paul shrugged, "Her face . . . I like it."

Jacob frowned, "I-I ... Dude, you've got major issues, but, to each their own I guess."  
Paul shrugged and ran a nervous hand through his hair.

 _ **XXXX**_

 _ **Elae**_

My dad had been a Christian when he was alive. Naturally, that made all of his children Christians.

The thing was, I'd never desired to be a Christian. I didn't know if I believed in God or not, and I didn't know if I wanted to pursue and worship someone I might not believe in.

Lately, my grandmother had been lending me amazing books about our people and the spirits and the great Taha aki.

I wanted so much to just break free from the expectations put on me by my parents, but I couldn't, and I probably wouldn't ever be able to. Since my father died, I felt obligated to honor his life by following his God. And it left me unable to break away from them.

That left me here, on a Sunday in the grocery store buying groceries so my grandmother could cook an amazing roast dinner for us.

My mother and sister had attended church. I had lied and told them that Noni needed help.

And even though my Noni knew I was only lying so I didn't have to to,

My Noni still made me help.

"Are you sure you need that much mayonnaise?"

I frowned and looked down at my cart only to see that I'd been filling up the grocery cart with pots of Mayonnaise.

"Oh no, I don't. Uhm, I'll just put that right back." I said nervously and without looking up at the man who had so kindly pointed out that I was overstocking my cart.

"Here, I'll get those."

Before I knew it, a gigantic, muscled hand reached into my cart and was putting the pots of Mayonnaise back in their place two at a time.

I finally decided to look up at the owner of those huge hands and was met with a very kind and gorgeous face, and even kinder eyes, that looked like they shone only for me.

I suddenly felt like I was floating.

I recognized this feeling. It was the feeling of getting carried away.

Not only because I was floating, but because I actually felt like my heart was about to burst out of my chest just by looking at this man.

"You know, I was just walking by and noticing you stuffing your already stuffed cart full of pots of Mayonnaise. Just felt like your spirit left your body for a minute there."

Gorgeous face, kind eyes, beautiful voice.

The list kept growing and I was pretty sure that this was the most attention I had ever gotten from a guy that wasn't related to me.

"Jared," He said and held out his hand for me to shake, the kind smile was still plastered on to his face and it made my stomach all jiggly inside.

"Elaery," I whispered, not knowing what to say. I didn't shake his hand either.

"Well Elaery, just remember not to leave the bodily vessel unattended in public," He said, chuckling, then left, just as quickly as he had come.

I just stood there.

Holding mayonnaise.

Thinking about him.

 _Jared_.


	5. I'm a Millenial housewife

**Authors note:** _hey again my beautiful readers, here's the fifth chapter. I hope you'll like it I had some complications when I tried to upload it at first but I finally managed. I want to thank my beta heroicunicorn99 for Beta-ing this, my chapters are always better because of you._

 _I also want to thank Dramionefan822, Sworn2Kill and lexicon63738 for reading and following my story, I really appreciate it._

 _If you're reading this then you're reading my story and I thank you for it._

 ** _Disclaimer:_** _I do not own Twilight_

 ** _-xx-_**

 _ **XXXX**_

 _ **Third**_

"Is it blue?" Raegan asked. Her tone exaggerated the obliviousness as she questioned Kira.

They were on their way to Paul's where Raegan was supposed to drop Kira of for the night.

Raegan was kind of nervous about coming face to face with Kira's father again; the energy around him pulsated with an intensity that Raegan wasn't very familiar with. It honestly scared her.

"Yes!" Kira screeched excitedly and wildly waved the blue teddy in her hand around.

Raegan smiled, Kira had her wrapped around her little fingers and Raegan wasn't afraid to admit it.

"Is it the ocean?" Raegan asked curiously, and glanced back quickly as Kira shook her head wildly. Obviously she was happy that Raegan was willing to indulge her and play the game with her. Raegan had a feeling with two busy parents they didn't have much time for toddler games.

"Okay then . . . What could it be, the sky maybe?" Raegan asked again.

Kira shook her head and giggled wildly, Raegan could already see Paul's house.  
"Is it Teddy then?"

Kira nodded excitedly and clapped loudly, "Yes! It's Teddy." Raegan nodded and smiled as she pulled into Paul's driveway.

"Well that was pretty hard Kira."

Kira hummed, "That was the point," said the toddler intelligently, making Raegan snort. She was too smart for her own good.

Raegan stepped out of the car and took a moment to gather her bearings, she was about to come face to face with somebody who made her want to throw out her heart. Not to mention made her go into a full on panic attack.

Opening the backdoor, she unclasped the toddler princess from her car seat, and allowed Kira to hop out of the car.

Raegan grabbed Kira's bag and together they made their way to the front door.

When they arrived at the front door Raegan took a deep breath and knocked loudly.  
A couple of moments passed before the door was opened by a gorgeous woman with long black hair and beautiful green eyes.

But before Raegan could speak, Kira immediately jumped up and squealed "Aunty Mal-Mal."

Raegan seemed surprised as the girl, (Mal perhaps?) picked up Kira and kissed her cheek sweetly. "Hi Kiki."

The woman then turned to Raegan and observed her for a moment before she smiled gratefully. "Thanks for bringing Kiki home, P had to do overtime at work." Raegan smiled and waved it off nonchalantly. It didn't really matter anyway, driving Kira over to Paul's took less than ten minutes.

Besides, she enjoyed hanging out with "Kiki".

Also she had no desire to ever see that frightening man again.

"That's alright," Raegan murmured as she pulled out Kira's tiny pink backpack.

"I'm Mallory Littlesea by the way, Paul's younger sister, the bane of Kayla's existence and Kiki's aunty. " she said proudly and held out a hand for Raegan to shake.

Raegan hesitantly took the hand and Mallory smiled.

"I'm Raegan Crane, I just moved here to my grandmother's with my mother and sisters. I'm Kira's Nanny."

The words were said clearly and properly making Mallory smile a little goofily.

"Well Raegan Crane, you should probably come inside so you can clean up the goop that's dripped all over your dress."

Raegan frowned and looked down, and indeed, the mashed bananas she'd had for Kira had sprayed out of the container and onto her new white dress.

Raegan groaned and both Mallory and Kira giggled.

"I gotta get home and-"

Mallory interrupted Raegan with a hand and pursed her lips. She figured Raegan would try and get out of letting her wash her dress.

"Just come inside, your dress is white. If we don't wash it now, it'll never get off."  
Kiki nodded along with her aunt's words and smiled brightly, "Come on Rae-Rae!"  
Raegan shook her head and allowed the two girls to pull her inside the house.

At least she wouldn't have to see Paul.

 ** _XXXX_**

 ** _Rae-Rae_**

This shirt smells delicious.

That was all I could think about. Mallory had thrown my dress in the washing machine and had given me one of her brother's sweaters to wear while I waited.

I just hoped I didn't have to run into her brother and especially in his sweater (even though Mallory told me he wouldn't mind.)

I looked around the bathroom and noticed little touches of Kira obviously and then there was so much Paul.

I could even feel that startling amount of intensity come off his toothbrush. It was ridiculous, I didn't know much about Paul. Other then the fact that I was pretty sure he loathed me.

And he was gorgeous.

And honestly he seemed like someone I didn't want to know. But off course I could never know that for a hundred percent.

He could be a Pirate Angel for all I knew.

"Rae-Rae, are you done?"

Mallory shouted from outside the bathroom doors.

"Yea." I said softly as I left the bathroom. Mallory hummed and smiled at me before she guided me into the living room where Kira sat in her high chair eating chips and watching TV.

Mallory motioned for me to come into the kitchen with her, and I happily obliged. Allowing Kira to get stuck in Peppa pig for a moment.

Ah Peppa, giving Parents and Babysitters a break since 2004.

I walked into the kitchen and Mallory motioned for me to help her cut up some vegetables, probably for some kind of stew.

"Do you live here with Kira's father?"

Mallory shook her head even before she heard my question and snorted.

"No, Thank Taha Aki for that, I would have probably stabbed him in his sleep if I still did. No I live with my husband, it's a couple of minutes away, Its closer to the beach."

I raised my eyebrows in surprise and snorted. "You're married?" I asked curiously.

Because she did not seem like the married type, off course I wasn't supposed to be judging her on her appearance or Her attitude. And especially not when it came to marriage, but honestly I couldn't help it. She was not what I envisioned when I thought about wives and wifely duties.

"Yea . . . That so surprising to you?"

I nodded and snorted again, "I'm sorry it's just . . . you just don't seem like the 1950's housewife type."

Mallory snorted and cut up another piece of tomato before she turned to me again, her facial expression thundering with feelings that ranged from amusement to annoyance.

"That's because I'm not, I'm a Millenial housewife . . . Certain standards of being have to be met as a Millenial housewife."

The sarcasm in her voice was evident and I wondered if maybe I'd offended her.  
"Like what?"

The answering smile that appeared on her face should have been warning enough for me to just shut up about it and never bring it up again.

"Well, having a hybrid car is important, because it's not too pretentious but still shows you care about the environment. And then you know, making sure your hair is kept in perfect condition at all times. . . That's basically it." Mallory said and shrugged.

I snorted and diced some more tomatoes. "That seems kind of ridiculous." I said indignantly.

I had never seen myself as a housewife, I had always thought that working was something I was going to do.

Because I would most definitely feel empty and inadequate just sitting at home and taking care of my kids.

"I know that look . . . That's the, I could never be a housewife look." Mallory said, she seemed, amused maybe?

"Don't worry, when you're married and have Kids, you'll understand. But until then this probably seems a little ... Pathetic to you, right?"

She was smiling so brightly and I didn't want to make it seem like I thought she was a pathetic housewife.

Or like I judged her based on her profession, or lack of one.

I was about to answer her when she smiled somewhat and excused herself to go check up on Kira.

Oh my God, I thought. Yes Raegan, you might as well have called her a pathetic housewife. You don't know that she takes pride in taking care of her husband or how much work goes into that.

You don't know what other things she's got going on. And there you went judging her like she didn't have any feelings.

I slowly dragged my hand across my face and went back to dicing up tomatoes.

At least I won't hurt anybody's feelings If I do that.

 ** _XXXX_**

 ** _Third_**

Raegan's heart was beating loudly in her chest as she diced onions.

She didn't know what exactly was happening but ever since Mallory left the room. Her heart had been pounding like crazy, almost like it was trying to escape her ribcage.

Raegan rubbed her hands over her chest again and took a deep breath to try and calm the rapidly beating organ.

But it wouldn't calm down, no matter how many breaths she took or how many times she counted to ten.

And suddenly she was being suffocated in an intensity that was new but felt very familiar.

The knife in her hands dropped to the floor as she turned around swiftly and was met with the startling yellow eyes of Paul.

She couldn't say anything, those poison yellow eyes had hooked her to the spot.

They cut off her airways and paralyzed her limbs.

They made her brain go a hundred miles a minute.

She was aware of every step he took towards her but no matter how frightened she was, she couldn't bring herself to move away from the man who was steadily making his way towards her.

"P . ." The air was suffocating her when she tried to speak.

What she wanted the most at this moment was to get away from Paul, it was to dissapear from his sight and not look at him again.

But her body was not complying with her as Paul wrapped his thick arms around her shoulders. His face moved like lightening as it struck down on her neck.

 ** _XXXX_**

 ** _Elae_**

Honestly, I couldn't really comprehend what was happening. I didn't understand why for the second time in my life, this beautiful being was deciding to talk to me.

 _Jared_.

 _Jared_.

He was once again positioned in front of me and smiling like he did in the supermarket. So kindly and nonchalantly, like his only mission and care in the world was showing me some kindness.

That look alone was giving me chills and was making sure that my body was no longer inhibited by my spirit.

He was too much to handle and my heart was beating so fast I couldn't focus.

The world could end and I might not even notice.

"Elaery, right?"

He asked curiously, and I nodded quietly, not wanting to give away that the body he was seeing in front of him was just a sack of bones.

"I didn't know you worked at Lee's place," he said conversationally, although having a conversation was hard for me and especially with a guy that was making my muscles spasm and the veins in my body clam up.

"Yeah, I work the counter, and help make the cakes and pies they sell here," I explained as professionally as possible. Somehow he seemed more amused by my answer than anything.

He hummed and leaned forward, "So when do you actually get off work?"  
He was very cheeky. I think I liked it, but it still made me a little nervous.

Even still, it was obvious that I was enchanted by everything that was him

"Um."

I didn't know what to say. Was he asking me out, or was he just being polite? I felt so awkward. Taercy, or even Raegan would know what to say or do; I was sure my face was flushing. I probably would have stood there all day if it weren't for Sue.

"Elae! Dishes!" She called, breaking my trance.

I stumbled over my words. "Oh, um, bye, I guess." I gave him a little wave.

"I have to go, um, do my job." I turned, my face was definitely bright red. As I walked through the swinging kitchen door, Jared said something to me.

"What?" I asked.

"You never answered me," he said. "What time do you get off?"

I was technically off at eight, but I probably wouldn't leave until eight-thirty. I liked to stay after to help tidy up a bit more.

"Eight thirty," I said softly.


	6. I trusted you

**Author's note:** _hey again my beautiful readers, this chapter is a little shorter than usual because I felt like this particular conversation between Paul and his Alpha's deserved its own little space. I hope you'll like it. As always I want to thank my amazing Beta Heroicunicorn99 for Beta-ing this._

 _I want to thank KamAnDa for reviewing. It really means a lot to me, I also want to thank Rosie5567 for Following, I really appreciate it._

 _If you're reading this you're reading my story and I thank you for it._

 _ **Disclaimer**_ _: I do not own Twilight_

 **- _xx_** **-**

 ** _XXXX_**

 ** _Third_**

"What the hell were you thinking?!" Leah shouted loudly as she pushed against Paul's chest.

She couldn't believe that despite all the trust she put in him, he had handled the situation like shit. Now she wouldn't only have the council on her for allowing Paul to take matters in his own hands, but Jacob was mad at her for letting Paul handle it himself.

And All Paul had said so far was, " _You told me I could handle it_."

His face remained stoic while he said so, and his eyes remained emotionless pits. He wasn't bothered by anything Leah said to him and that only pissed Leah off more.

"Yes, Paul. I trusted you to handle things responsibly and with her best interest in mind. Emphasis on responsibly," Leah said, jabbing her index finger into his chest.

She made sure her perfectly manicured fingernails dug into his chest, pushing so hard a trickle of blood came down from her pointer finger.

But somehow Paul remained deceptively calm, despite the volatile nature of his wolf.

"No, you allowed me to handle things on my own. And I did," Paul repeated calmly.

Leah closed her eyes in exasperation and ran her hand through her hair; a habit she'd picked up from the guys over the years.

"Paul, what part of this do you call handling it. You didn't handle anything, you just made more of a mess out of things," Leah said. Frustrated, she threw her hands up.

"Wouldn't be the first time." Paul said stoically, although Leah could faintly detect the flash of hurt that blew beneath his expressionless facade.

Leah couldn't care less. Paul had ruined someone's life just because he could.

It wasn't okay.

"Paul, you've ruined this woman's life," she said calmly, making Paul narrow his eyes.

"I only did as instructed."

Leah stared at Paul, his emotionless expression and those void words that fell so easily from his lips. It was making her body cold.

Leah leaped into the air ready to completely smack the subordination into Paul. Somehow Leah felt like he was mocking both her position as Alpha and mating.

She certainly wasn't wrong; this was Paul.

Jacob grabbed his wife out the air and pushed her back.

Jacob had noticed Paul's indifference on this situation, but he knew that whether Leah beat him into the next millennium or not, Paul wouldn't change his mind on his decision.

The look in Paul's eyes was completely calm and devoid of any emotion and it made Jacob wonder.

"Leah, calm down," he murmured, as he stared into his wife's beautiful eyes.

Immediately she was able to pick up on Jacobs feelings, his thoughts, everything. With that a flood of calm ran over her as she tried to be as understanding about Paul's situation as possible. She would allow Jacob to do what he needed and would only chip in if necessary.

Because although Paul listened to her, he never granted her anywhere near the same amount of respect he gave Jacob.

"P, why'd you do it."

Silence.

You could practically hear the girls gossiping inside the house, everybody was anxious to hear what Paul's reasoning was.

Why he had cruelly chained an unwilling female to himself.

Paul hadn't really said anything about it, he'd basically walked in an hour ago with the girl in his arms. He'd remained quiet while everybody fussed over his unconscious mate.

And though Jacob could see the yearning in his eyes while they pulled away his mate, he'd remained suspiciously still. So while Paul acted like nothing was the matter, there was certainly some guilt.

Paul licked his lips in one fluid motion.

"She was sick."

Leah huffed in frustration and Jacob held up his hand, she was impatient and that was one of the main reasons why many wolves in their pack had issues respecting her authority.

"Elaborate."

The word pulsated with the authority that Jacob had as Alpha. It made Paul's eyes open wide as they were invaded by the poison yellow that was Paul's wolf.

Immediately Jacob noticed that the air pulsated with something. While so new, it certainly felt like Paul's wolf. It was so utterly intense it would suffocate anyone who came near it.

Jacob frowned, Paul's wolf had never had this energy around him, and Jacob wondered if this was because of the imprint.

"She couldn't handle the imprint, I did what I had to, to make her feel better."

Leah narrowed her eyes while Jacob closed his.

Paul was selfish, he knew that but he didn't think it would've been that bad.

"And you couldn't just stay away from her until we'd found a solution. No, you decided that what you wanted was best."

Paul narrowed his eyes and flexed his fingers in a frightening manner. If Jacob didn't know any better he'd say Paul's wolf was challenging him.

But he knew better.

Paul's aura was intimidating and suffocating, but his face remained stoic and without emotion. Whatever was happening to Paul's wolf wasn't through his fault.

"I did what was best, period."

His eyes snapped to Leah's, Jacob could sense Leah's wolf snap and rage under the surface of her being. While Paul's wolf was careful not to antagonise Jacob, it didn't extend that same courtesy to Leah.

"You should've known that when you allowed me to deal with things myself, I will always do what I feel is best."

Leah seethed and took another step towards Paul, although this time Jacob didn't stop her. He allowed her to advance on Paul who remained deathly still as the female wolf Took several steps towards him.

Leah calmly slapped her palm against his chest sending him flying against a tree.

Her wolf had clearly taken over.

And unlike Leah, she never had the patience to deal with Paul.

Paul stood up and looked at his two alphas with glowing yellow eyes, there was no emotion running through them, they were just calmly calculating the situation and the position they were in.

He ran his tongue over his lips once more, although this time it was painstakingly slow as his eyes snapped over to Leah.

Jacob saw Paul move, but he was a blur, and Jake was to slow to stop him. Paul grabbed Leah's wrist and slammed her down onto the forest floor.

Hard.

The fiery pits of anger in Jacobs stomach grew larger then ever. Nobody hurt the Alpha's mate.

 _ **Nobody**_.

He looked up at Paul's poison eyes and his own wolf came up through the surface. Though Jacob was completely ready to slam Paul into a new millennium, his wolf was still wary. Furious, but wary.

There was a lot Paul did but he would never disrespect Jacob or hurt Leah like that.

This was something else, he was different.

"I am only going to say this once. Let. Her. Go"

He hissed angrily, the Alpha order ringing through but although it did, Paul remained calm, his poison yellow eyes trained on his Alpha as he held onto Leah's wrist.

There was a blinding rage pulsating inside of him and he couldn't really decide on anything. He couldn't make out anything, his main concern was getting Leah away from Paul so he could rip the bastard to shreds.

"Does it hurt?" Paul asked as he squeezed Leah's wrist, and cocked his head to the side in a questioning manner. Jacob could hear Leah's bones shatter inside of her wrist.

He could feel the pain echoing in his own wrist. Despite Leah's whimpers, Jacob made no sound.

The pain of his wrist was in the back of his mind, as Leah's whimper made him want to see blood spilled all over the forest, he wanted so bad to rip Paul limb from limb.

"You hurt, but Its not only your wrist, you hurt in your soul," Paul explained.

Through the foggy haze of his wolf and his own rage, he saw the point Paul was getting at.

"My mate looked on the verge of dying everytime I stepped within a hundred yards of her, no matter how much you tell me I am wrong, I will never apologize for keeping my mate from pain."

It was too bad that everything he was saying fell on deaf ears. Jacob had no time to listen to his sob story. All Jacob cared about right now was getting his mate away from Paul.

Paul sighed and let Leah go.

And although Jacob understood somewhat, the rage he felt for Paul hadn't subsided. Paul would have to pay for using Leah as a pawn in his stupid game.

With one huge leap, Jacob landed on Paul.


	7. Property of the Big Bad wolf

**Author' note** : _Hi there beautiful readers, first and foremost I want to say that I m sorry for the delay and I hope you enjoy this chapter. I also want to thank my amazing Beta heroicunicorn99 for Beta-ing this chapter. You're great._

 _I also want to thank Imilne for following and Lynara ya for favouriting. I really appreciate it._

 _If you're reading this you're reading my story and I thank you for it._

 **Disclaimer** _: I don't own Twilight._

 _ **-xx-**_

 _ **XXXX**_

 _ **Third**_

"I think she's going to need a moment when she wakes up," Emily said softly while she paced Claire's old room in her house, the same room that currently was the bedroom they kept an unconscious Raegan Crane in.

"I think she's gonna need a lot of moments Emily," Claire said angrily,

"This is crazy, guys how are we going to explain it to her when she wakes up?" Rachel Call, Embry's wife asked while she sat on the edge of the bed, wiping beads of sweat from the girl's caramel skin.

Kimberly looked down sadly at the young woman on the bed.

"Can we?"

"We're going to have to do it, Jacob said it's best if she hears it from us."

Emily murmured with a resigned expression on her face. She wasn't too happy about this either, and she wished in her heart of hearts that Paul would've confided his plan to someone before he just went and did it. Then maybe somebody could've told him how stupid it was.

But he didn't.

"Okay I'm gonna have to disagree with Jacob on that one, we suck at explaining stuff,"

Claire said matter of factly as she looked around at the other women, who while silent, quietly agreed with their resident Teddy-bear. All of their own introductions to the supernatural world had been horrid, and worse of all is they now had the added burden of explaining to Raegan that she not only was the soulmate to a mystical shapeshifter, but she was bound to him as well.

"She's right guys, this is bad, Like spoiled milk in your latte bad," Mallory said, adding in her very useful two cents.

"I mean, is he even aware of the damage he's caused?" Kimberly asked seriously, looking around at the other women who all sighed simultaneously.

"Whether he is or isn't, They won't be able to reverse it, so..."

Emily said and bit her lip.

"That doesn't make this any better." Claire grimaced. Mallory hummed along with her Pack sister.

"This shouldn't have happened, Paul should've known better," Rachel said angrily as she wiped another wet cloth over Rae's forehead.

"He did know better, he just didn't care," Claire explained calmly.

Silence.

Rachel was pretty sure that even Raegan could feel the coldness that entranced the room and seeped into everybody's body.

"Guys we shouldn't be so quick to judge P. We don't know why he did this." Emily said quietly.

Claire snorted venomously

"I am very quick to judge. Nothing can justify this Em, and I honestly can't believe you're trying to defend him,"

To Claire there wasn't much to fight about. She wasn't fond of the way Paul handled the situation and the way everybody was always making up excuses for him.

"Bear, I'm just trying to make the best of a situation nobody asked for," Emily whispered, this made everybody uncomfortable.

Because As marked mates, they knew the severity of the situation and how horrible this was really going to be for Raegan.

"No, you're defending a selfish asshole."

Claire said petulantly and crossed her arms over her chest. Effectively showing her age through her behavior.

Rachel sighed.

Kim pursed her lips.

Mallory seemed to actually be rubbing her temples.

And Emily was just very tired.

This wasn't going to be easy to explain to Raegan.

How do you tell somebody that their life is no longer their own?

"But for real, can you believe P, did something like this," Mallory said incredulously as she looked at the young girl collapsed on the bed.

Mallory hadn't really been convinced that this situation was really happening.

"Yes," Claire and Kim said in unison. Paul had always been a peculiar wolf. Preferring violence over any type of reconciliation or peace treaty. He was selfish, and always prioritized himself over others.

"Well, not exactly," Rachel began as she once again dabbed at Raegan's head with a towel. "I mean, yes Paul has a bad habit of messing up every situation he comes into contact with. But I mean, we've got to remember that in those moments when he's messing something up beyond repair that it's his wolf and he's overtaken by the instincts that make him his wolf. And you know we've gotta distinguish one from the other."

Rachel finished lamely.

"Lee said the same thing, well kinda."

Silence. Yet again, because Paul's wolf was a subject nobody really touched on. He was a fearsome warrior but a frightening friend.

They learned that the hard way.

"Jared said that despite everything his wolf really respects P,"

Kim admitted begrudgingly.

"Bry said the same... "

Rachel also admitted, flinching away silently. She had never liked the fact that her husband actually respected an asshole like Paul.

Until She'd allowed herself to see past the arrogant, volatile and Uncaring part that was his wolf and into the caring, kind and somewhat cold part that was Paul.

The man that loved his daughter beyond human capabilities, the man that made sure Nathan and his mom had breakfast on the table, The man that despite everything was always the first one to arrive in case of an emergency. Rachel was one of the few people in the pack that had been able to experience that big hearted individual.

"He said it's P's warrior mindset paired with his amazing parenting that makes his wolf respect him," Rachel explained softly.

"Oh! So it's like us respecting Mallory even though she's got boiled eggs for brains," Claire explained and hummed along with it.

Rachel hummed, "exactly."

Mallory huffed offended.

"Nghh..."

Everybody turned to the young lady on the bed. Their eyes wide and their minds going a mile a minute.

"Is she waking up?" Claire asked frantically.

Kim shrugged and looked down at Raegan who was stirring but still relatively still.

"She might be."

"Well, what do we say?"

Claire asked Emily who shrugged, she might be the Beta's wife but she had absolutely no idea what to do.

"How about we give her a T-shirt that says ' _Property of Big bad Werewolf Paul Lahote_ '?" Mallory asked the other girls. That earned her a smack upside the head from Claire and a rag in the face by Rachel.

"Why?" Mallory cried out, while holding the back of her head with a pained grimace.

Claire scoffed.

"Why do you think that is?"

"Nngghh..."

Everybody turned towards the young girl again and noticed her flutter her eyes open.

Green beautiful eyes stared at them. And all the girls tried for their sweetest and most encouraging smiles. Hoping to ease the girl into the onslaught of shocking things that were going to attack her.

Mallory decided to speak first. She figured she was the only girl Rae would recognize.

"Hi, Rae-Rae, are you feeling alright?"

Rae pulled her face into a very unfavorable expression and Mallory grimaced and glanced at Emily. Not really sure what to say next or how to approach this. Because no matter what they still need to explain to this girl that.

She now belonged to somebody.

"No I do not, where am I?"

It wasn't a strange question seeing as she woke up in a room she didn't recognize with a bunch of people she didn't recognize.

"My name is Emily and the bed you're currently in is situated in Claire's old room in my house."

Emily said as she held up her hand confidently. While all of the other girls seemed like they were about to throw up most of their bodily organs. Emily looked like she might be the only person in the room that had brain cells.

Raegan nodded gently and sat up on the bed.

Turning to Claire she frowned before recognition finally came over her face. Claire worked with her younger sister and she recognized the young nail artist very well.

"This was your old room? Lame. . ."

Claire stuck out her tongue, but the mirth didn't reach her eyes,

That paired with the fact that everybody was looking at Raegan like she just died was making the young woman worried.

Mallory, however, snorted.

"She's right Bear, this room is lame."

Claire smacked her on the back of her head again.

"You know what I-"

Rachel shot both girls a look and they begrudgingly shut up.

Raegan who'd been watching the exchange with amusement. Turned to Emily with expectant green eyes.

"Why am I here?"

Raegan looked around at everybody. She could see in their eyes that they weren't ready to answer her questions. And Raegan wondered why.

Emily took a deep breath and sighed.

"There was an incident Raegan-"

 _ **XXXX**_

"What did she say?"

Jacob asked the five women who had just stepped out of Claire's old room.

"Well she's not happy, I'll tell you that," Mallory said sarcastically as she gravitated towards her husband who sat on the couch.

Every wolf looked despaired at the situation Paul had gotten himself into. Mate marking was a situation that didn't happen for all wolves because not every woman wanted that to happen.

Kimberly herself was one of those women. She couldn't do it, she loved Jared to pieces but the concept of mate marking had just made the woman feel like property and that's the only thing she wouldn't do for Jared.

She wouldn't become his property.

"She seemed, hysterical and afraid..."

Rachel said worriedly as she leaned into her husband. Rachel herself had mulled the thought of a mate mark over for a long while before she allowed Embry to do it. It was a big decision that she wouldn't wish anybody to get forced into.

"And she asked us to leave her be." She finished sadly.

Though the glum mood was quickly interrupted by Riven Witheld, one of their youngest pack members, rushing in with his own imprint Delaney Mayflower.

"Sorry we're late guys," Delaney said, walking up to Emily and hugging the sweet woken tightly.

Delaney was Leah's and Emily's other cousin and Riven Witheld's imprint, she was a sickeningly sweet yet viciously Nasty human being.

"Yea, traffic wasn't pleasant."

Riven added as he walked up to his girlfriend who was now quietly whispering with Claire who stood by Quill.

"Riven are you-?"

Riven nodded and looked at his imprint sadly. Delaney had never really liked Paul and this didn't help in that department.

"Nate, Lee, and Corey told us everything," Riven explained and sighed loudly.

Although Riven had only been a wolf for three years, many of the older wolves respected him because of his spot on instincts and amazing strategizing skills.

"How could this have happened?" Delaney asked surprised and somewhat angry.

Jacob grimaced somewhat, he knew excitedly how this had happened. But there was no way Jacob would throw his Wife to the wolves like that. Although he was sure the wolves would find out anyways.

"I did this to help her," Paul said suddenly.

He sat in the corner of the living room with Sam and Emily, his eyes still a startling yellow and his muscles still coiled and ready to jump into any fight. Paul's wolf was fierce and often beyond Paul's control. And now that Jacob had asked him to give Raegan some time, his wolf was very displeased and just about ready to ignore Jacob's plea. But the only reason it didn't was the respect it had for Jake. While he was stubborn, he understood his mate's need to be left alone for a while.

"That's a shitty excuse and it's not going to change the fact that she's really upset."

Mallory said loudly. She wasn't quite shouting at him. But she basically was.

"This shouldn't have been something we were sent to do Jake, Lee should've been here. She would've calmed Rae down and make it seem like it wasn't necessarily the end of the world," Rachel said worriedly, she was worried that without their Alpha female they had messed up any chance Raegan had of not being completely freaked out by this.

Leah had a soothing effect on the Pack mates.

The pack had a very distinct dynamic. Almost every member had an Imprint and when that imprint got a mate mark, they would acquire enhanced strength, sight, speed, hearing, and smell. And fall under the command of Leah who was basically the Alpha of the females in the pack.

Though Leah also had control and hold over the boys of the pack.

"Rachel you girls are strong too, I'm sure you've guided her in the right direction and From what I understand from Kamenna, Raegan is really intelligent. She'll understand," Embry said softly, gently soothing his wife and the room with his calming gestures.

"Would you?" Mallory asked and snorted from where she sat draped across Collin.

"I don't want to be Debby Downer here, because I mean, it's my brother's imprint. But guys, Mate marks are a big deal and We don't even know if she would want P like that and now the chance to figure that out has been taken away from her. I mean Bry, look at Rach, it basically took her years to decide whether she wanted the mate mark or not. Emily asked for it then cried about the decision for months And I literally disappeared after Collin asked me if I wanted it. Hell, the only 2 people that weren't overwhelmed by the decision were Leah and Claire and that's only because Claire grew up with Quill and Lee wasn't tied by imprint to Jake. It's a very big deal Bry. And as we all know, some imprints might not even want it."

Everybody was quiet after Mallory had spoken, the reality of what Paul had done was settling in. And It wasn't a very good reality.

"She can't live without you now P . . . But I don't think that's gonna be because she doesn't want to."

Paul cringed away from his sister's words and it made every wolf sad. Paul seemed confident with his decision, he had given her the bite and then called a pack meeting like he knew that it was the only way for her to get rid of the sickness that harassed her whenever she saw him.

Paul knew that Raegan couldn't handle the intensity of his imprint, and he knew that the bite would be the only way to take that intensity away from her. It was logic, intensity equals sickness and girl plus bite equals intensity abolished.

Paul and his wolf were thinking about this matter, logically.

"Although I understand your point, Mallory, what's done is done, there's nothing we can do but learn to live with it."

Mallory scoffed and the other imprints looked away at Jacobs words.

"Jacob, with all due respect . . ." Emily began but was cut off by Sam who placed a finger on her mouth.

Delaney narrowed her eyes and glared at Sam.

Claire noticed the gesture, raised her eyebrows and pursed her lips in a defiant manner.

"You don't know what it feels like to belong to somebody, It's intense and feels amazing most of the time, but it can also feel suffocating at times, You can often feel like you're in a dark tunnel and There's no light at the end of it."

Claire said softly, and stillness followed after her statement as each and every wolf glanced at their imprints/mates. They didn't know what it felt like to be marked, and to in all essence of the word belong to somebody.

"Of course this is different, we're not slaves. We aren't dogs used only for amusement, but because you love us so much and we love you so much we've decided to give up a part of ourselves and have given it to you. And it's amazing but it's also scary and even though it's not often, there are times where you'll feel shitty because that power has been abused and you just can't understand why you even gave yourself up for some guy who might wake up one day and leave you," Rachel said softly.

"And don't get us wrong guys, it's not horrible, believe me, I love it, but it's only wonderful because I chose this and because on the days where it's hard I can remind myself why I chose this, I can remind myself that Quill always listens to me. He always respects me and would never think of my opinion as less than his. But Paul, she won't have that with you, With you bad days will just be bad days, and shitty mates will just be shitty mates," Claire finished.

It was very quiet after that, the boys had been turned into silent statues as they took in their wives' words.

They'd never really understood what it meant to be mate marked. All they'd understood is that at a certain point their wolf craved that deeper connection with their imprints.

Jacob sighed, he'd had a lot of conversations with Leah about the mark and what exactly it entailed and he'd made sure to never abuse the power he has over her. But he was ashamed to admit that he still did sometimes. It was just easier to tell Leah to be quiet than deal with whatever issue she brought up.

And honestly, as he looked at all the other marked mates, he felt sick to his stomach. Paul had subjected a girl to live under his rule.

 ** _Crash_**. (the distinct sound of glass breaking.)

Everybody shared a look with each other and Quill snorted. "No way, she wouldn't . . ."

Everybody was Quiet and stared out the window but her form didn't appear. The wolves and Mates knew she'd left, but there was such a heavy air hanging around the room that nobody wanted to acknowledge it or run after her,

"Would she?" Quill asked his wife carefully.

Claire grimaced and hummed, "I don't know if she would but she definitely did."

"I don't think-" Paul started and was cut off by Mallory.

"That's cause you never think"

 _ **XXXX**_

"Lilly, you come here way too much," Taercy said and snorted as she watched the 20-year-old flip through some magazines.

Lillian shrugged and huffed, "Well now that the asshat I used to call my boyfriend broke up with me, I don't really have anywhere else to be. So deal with it," she said happily making both Taercy and Joy roll their eyes.

Neither Tae or Joy would throw Lillian out, she had become an intricate part of their salon in the few short days she'd hung around.

"You got issues."

Taercy continued with the client she had in front of her.

"Don't we all," Lillian said while spreading her arms wide.

Rhonda scoffed, she sat in one of the nail stations, waiting for Claire who was late.

"I'm not crazy."

"So you say."

Rhonda turned to her best friend with an offended look on her face. Despite the fact that this woman was 37, she still acted like a teenager at times.

"Besides she didn't say you were crazy, she said you got issues. And trust me, hun, you got a lot of those," Joy fired as she touched up somebody's roots.

Rhonda pursed her lips and huffed. "You know I wonder why I'm still friends with you guys. I get insulted all the time."

Taercy smiled, "That's cause you love us and we got you looking snatched."

Everybody was quiet for a while before Rhonda hummed.

"Yea you're right, I do look snatched."

Joy snorted and sighed, "Please don't ever say snatched again Rhonda. It makes you look like your trying to hard," said Joy, slightly amused by their antics.

Although everybody was immediately brought out of their musings by Claire finally dropping into work. With a 200-pound Gorgeous beefcake walking in behind her. His sleek raven black hair was hanging in a shaggy ponytail on his back and he looked pretty annoyed.

"Momma Joy, Seth needs to shave the rat's nest on his head off. Would you mind?" The young Ateara wife asked as she quickly pulled off her jacket and made her way to the nail section of the hair salon.

"Yeah I would mind Bear, I got a costumer, so if Seth doesn't mind waiting then I don't mind cutting," Joy said quickly,

Claire turned around quickly and pursed her lips. "Seth has work in half an hour."

That was all Joy needed to know that Seth had patrol soon.

"I can do him . . . That is if he don't mind?"

Taercy questioned sassily as Seth shifted to her. He turned into a living statue as he stared at her. Moments went without Seth moving and it was making Taercy nervous, mostly because the look in his eyes was both making her blood boil, while simultaneously making her veins freeze.

"You two alright?" asked Claire, clearly amused.

Seth seemed to shake himself out of whatever funk he was in and nodded quickly.

Taercy coughed and tried to cover up the fact that she couldnt stop staring at the man.

She finally understood the meaning of a Pirate Angel.

"That's alright, I'll take the cut."

Seth said confidently and planted himself in Taercy's chair. Making the young hairdresser giggle slightly.

"You sure little boy, you don't know if I'm gonna mess you up or not." Though her voice was playful, Taercy was carefully watching the big guy.

"Wolves aren't afraid of Little Lambs."

Condescending, she thought.

Yet amusing.

 _ **XXXX**_

"A date?" Elaery asked curiously as she looked at Jared. He seemed amused but not impatient.

"Yea, a date. I'm sure you've heard of the concept."

Jared said as he leaned against the counter, he seemed very confident that Elaery would eventually go on a date with him. So confident even that Elaery considered rejecting him just because he was so smug.

"But," she said slowly, "Why with me?"

Jared smiled, somewhat sadly.

"You're beautiful and kind."

Elaery looked up at Jared and the smile on his face was nothing but sincere as he looked down at her.

But she had her concerns. Sure, the last time she'd hung out with Jared had been surprisingly pleasant, but there wasn't a label on their last hang out session. Elaery had wondered what that had meant to him, since he'd been the one to ask her when she'd been done with work so they could hang out. But now that he was asking her out she couldn't actually breathe. It meant that he was actually interested in a romantic relationship.

"Okay," She whispered.


	8. I'd missed him

**Author's note:** _hey my beautiful readers, it's been a while but I'm back with a new chapter and I'm hoping you'll love it. It was a little harder to write this one but I think it came out alright. I want to thank my Beta heroicunicorn99 for Beta-Ing this, you're amazing and my chapters are always better because of you._

 _I want to thank cynthealee2, judjejuj and AquaJMgirl for favouriting/following my story, I really appreciate it._

 _If you're reading this you're reading my story and I thank you for it._

 **Disclaimer:** _I do not own twilight,_

 ** _-xx-_**

 _ **XXXX**_

 _ **Rae-Rae**_

It's too hot, and my hands are clammy.

The bed feels wet and sweaty.

My mind is running too quickly and the mark on my neck stings.

 _What did he do?_

 _What do I do?_

 _Why did he do this to me?_

I glanced at the alarm clock on my bedside table and it read **03:26**.

Somehow I felt like running a marathon. I had so much energy and my body was aching to be out of this damned house that suddenly didn't feel like my own anymore.

And off this bed that felt empty and lonely and rip off this t-shirt that felt sweaty and so unlike me that I wanted to scream.

I stood up out of my bed and decided that maybe a glass of water would help. At least I hoped so because I needed it to stop. I needed whatever that was going on inside my head to stop.

I couldn't think straight, ever since Paul bit me.

He took my choice away.

The worst thing was that I didn't resent him for it. Except the problem was, I didn't know if I didn't. The mark, I assumed, made it incapable to hate him.

This isn't how I imagined my life being, this wasn't how I wanted my future to play out.

Now no matter what, I'm going to have to live with the fact that he now owns me. Owns me like an object, or a slave.

What am I supposed to do when he wants something? I didn't know exactly what this would mean for me, but I knew that from the way some of the girls looked at me it wasn't something to take lightly. Their expressions were a mixture of fear and pity. Anger, too. A part of me hoped that it was for Paul, and then the part that belonged to him reprimanded the other.

I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen, hoping that a glass of water would calm my rapidly beating heart.

That it would slow down the thunderous breaths.

That maybe I could begin thinking straight again. But I couldn't, nothing else but Paul was running through my veins and I didn't know what to do.

I shot down the glass of water.

 _Another one._

 _And another one._

But it didn't help, I couldn't do this. This was not what I wanted, I didn't want to be anyone's property. I just-

 _I just..._

I just wanted to be me. I just wanted to get over my father's death and try to move on with my life, I just wanted to become a better person and follow God. I just wanted to become a fraction of the person my dad had wanted me to be

But I am no longer me.

No matter what, I couldn't feel like myself. Everything felt foreign, even the feeling of the glass of water in my palm felt like something I had never felt before like this mind was all wrong and filled with Paul, but my body wasn't.

 _And yet. . . It was._

Everything was hard now that this mark was on my neck, my limbs felt heavier and my heart felt like it was a wild animal caged behind my ribs. My tongue dry and uncomfortable, and the breaths going in and out of my lungs... I was unable to keep them under control. They fluttered quickly like the wings of hummingbirds, unable to let the oxygen absorb into my bloodstream.

 _And my mind..._

My mind was perhaps worst of all,

It wouldn't shut up, it wouldn't sit still and it couldn't allow me to think past Paul.

I dropped the glass into the sink and held onto my chest as I slid down to the kitchen floor. I couldn't handle whatever this was, I couldn't handle whatever was happening to me

God I can't, I prayed. This is too much and I am too weak to do this.

I am not whoever Paul needs me to be...

And I don't want to be whatever Paul wants me to be...

I want to go back to being me!

Trying to count to ten didn't help, taking deeper and deeper breaths didn't help, and the glasses of water I downed were completely useless.

 _I needed air._

I walked out through the back door with no shoes, no coat, and no pants, I only wore my boxer and a sports bra, since I'd just discarded the shirt I usually sleep in. And I just felt too hot to actually wear anything.

I seriously couldn't think straight, the cold night air wasn't doing anything but spurring me into a run.

At this point, I felt like I was being chased, but by whom I couldn't tell you.

All I did was run, for miles and I didn't stop, I went through the woods and over hills. Along the beach and down the town's square, until I arrived at a house I would literally recognize anywhere at this point.

 _Paul's house..._

My gut was directing me to Paul's house through the woods, or rather, the mark was.

I sighed and sat down on the front porch. No matter what, knocking now would be no use, and going home would make me feel dreadful again, I needed to see Paul. I needed to breathe in his scent. I needed to make sure he was alive and well.

Or maybe I just needed to see Paul and curse him to high heavens for ruining my life. For ruining me. For making me doubt myself and my morals.

But most of all, for taking away my choice.

Although before I could knock, Paul opened the door, wide emerald and gold-flecked eyes looked at me in surprise and wonder. I couldn't help but admire those beautiful eyes and the way they seemed to spin me around the world.

But instead of the fuzzy feeling, I'd been craving all that I felt was anger and a rage so strong it almost knocked me back a few steps.

"You Asshole! Jackass! Moron!"

I didn't care anymore, Paul and all his werewolf glory had ruined my life in just one day and he didn't even look like he cared one bit. He just looked curious, like my behavior was fascinating to him. Like I was just an ant carrying a large leaf. He was curious, but he couldn't quite get himself to care about the cause for it.

I knew that more than anything I looked childish right now, stamping my feet and screeching at the top of my lungs. I knew that I hadn't gotten this angry in a while.

"Say something!" I screeched again as hopelessness filled my veins at the expression on his face. His face was passive, like whatever I was feeling right now was the least of his issues.

"Say something," I demanded.

His expression remained the same

Distant and slightly curious but not enough to really say something.

It was frustrating.

I wanted him to care, I wanted so badly for him to feel even a fraction of what I was feeling.

I wanted him to care.

"Please," I whispered.

It was pathetic, I needed to hear him say something. I needed him to tell me that he cared about my pain.

"What would you like me to say?" he asked stoically.

"Would you like me to tell you that, I regret marking you? Or maybe that seeing you in pain has made me realize that I've made one of the worst mistakes of my life?"

They were rhetorical questions but I still felt like I should answer, seeing as he thought this situation was so amusing that he could still mock me.

"Yes, Paul! That's exactly what I want you to say!"

Paul cocked his head to the side. Despite the anger running through my veins, the smirk that appeared on his face made the bones in my body shake.

"I'd be lying if I said that. While I might be very unsympathetic, volatile, and uncaring. but I'm not a liar."

The smirk disappeared as he leveled me with an intense stare that almost blew me off my feet.

"I won't lie. Especially to you."

"I wish you would, even if it's a lie. I wish you would just tell me you're sorry."

I was disgusted with myself. The mark made me unable to live without Paul.

I wondered if eventually I would lose complete sight of myself. I knew I wouldn't be able to live without Paul but...

Would I still be able to live without me?

"I did what I had to, I'm not glad to see you in pain. But I wouldn't ever regret a decision I made in order to protect you, whether it upsets you or not. I will always take an angry heart over one that doesn't beat."

Whether it upsets you or not...

I did what I had to...

He didn't care...

He didn't care about me or my pain or anything. The only thing he cared about was himself. I started to wonder when this had stopped becoming about me being angry because he chained me to himself and became me being angry because he didn't care about me or my feelings.

The fact that I was even confused about the matter was making my eyes well up with tears, I didn't recognize myself anymore. Never ever in my life would I have left the house half naked. But I did- and the worst part is that I didn't care.

I don't care about the fact that my life and my principles are falling into darkness right before my eyes.

I didn't care that I was falling into darkness...

All I could think about was Paul...

"You Hurt me!" I yelled angrily and surged forward banging my fist on his chest, making sure that he knew how hurt I was, hoping maybe he'd feel any semblance of pain. Hoping that he would feel even a fraction of the hurt I felt. I hoped he knew how invaded I felt.

How my soul didn't feel like mine anymore.

Paul grabbed my wrist as I was hitting him and held them tightly, "Be quiet, my neighbors can hear you and they'll come out to see what's going on."

He was squeezing my wrist so tightly I was sure it was going to bruise. But when he spoke to me his voice was light, conversational even and his eyes were empty, swirling a brilliant gold and emerald.

"I don't care about your damn neighbors!" I screeched, hoping anybody would hear me, and come out to investigate.

He would deserve it.

"I don't give a-"

before I could even finish Paul had slammed me against the side off the house.

My bareback hit the wall so hard the air was forced out of me.

"I told you, to be quiet," he hissed angrily, his eyes going from a silent golden and green to a vibrant yellow.

It hurt, my back hurt, my wrist hurt, and my heart hurt. Everything was just so painful and Paul was horrible. He didn't care, and for some reason, that hurt more than everything.

"Do you even care?" I whispered softly, my eyes locked onto his.

He grunted and leaned his head back a little as if he was trying to get a better look at me. His yellow eyes seemed to find something interesting as he leaned forward and placed his lips at my ears, his warm breath fanning over my neck like a thick blanket. "If I didn't, I wouldn't have marked you."

My heart swelled up in unexplained happiness.

I was disgusted with myself, yet strangely relieved that he cared.

So happy, I threw my arms around him and held him tightly, inhaling his scent and running my lips along the warm copper skin of his neck.

And despite the fact that I hated myself for it...

I'd missed him...

I'd missed him so much.

Please God help me.

I'd missed him...


	9. Coffee or tea?

**Authors note:** _hello beautiful readers, I've been gone for a month I think and I want to apologise for that, I've been seriously busy and also just generally doubting myself with this chapter, but it has turned into something I am thoroughly satisfied with thanks to heroicunicorn99 working their amazing unicorn magic, As always I thank you for making my chapters better, you're truly magical._

 _I also want to thank Quntisforever for not only following the story but myself as an author as well, I really appreciate it off course, and it really means a lot to me._

 _(_ _I feel like I haven't expressed how much it means to me a lot lately while thanking the people following/favouriting my story but it really means a lot to me and I thank you for always taking the time to read it, you're Amazing._ _)_

 _Sworn2Kill thanks for your amazing review, I really appreciate it because I was having some struggles when trying to write the 8th chapter, but seeing your review makes me glad, It lets me know that you've enjoyed it and I'm happy._

 _If you are ready reading this, then you're reading my story and I thank you for it._

 _ **Disclaimer:**_ _I do not own Twilight,_

 ** _-xx-_**

 _ **XXXX**_

 _ **Third**_

"Coffee or tea?" asked Paul as he leaned against the doorframe of his kitchen.

Raegan turned to him and murmured, "Tea, with milk."

There were no smiles, no expression, just hushed words as she sat on the couch. Raegan

wrapped her arms around her knees while she stared at the black, blank screen of the television.

Paul hummed and returned back to the kitchen, all the while wondering what exactly to do now. He knew that if it were up to his wolf he and Rae would now start their life together and live happily ever after, but...

He also knew that this was reality and that Raegan was wrecked; physically and emotionally. And To force her into a situation when she felt like this would just be wrong. Paul wouldn't do that just to curb his own need for her.

He'd already done enough of that.

He absentmindedly grabbed the two mugs and walked into the living room.

Paul felt the added weight of the mark, he couldn't exactly imagine what it felt like for Raegan, but he felt it.

He felt like they were more connected somehow; at first, it felt like he was just connected to her by strings. But those strings didn't feel weak or breakable in the slightest.

Paul could compare it to looking up at the sun; it was so warm and bright but he was insignificant compared to it. Whether the sun paid attention or shone its light on him was a choice the sun itself had to make. It could feel lonely when the sun wasn't focused on him.

But with this mark, those strings of fate stopped feeling like strings and started feeling like thick steel cables. It stopped feeling lonely, and while she still felt like the sun, so bright and unchanging. Paul knew that he now felt like the same equivalent to her.

Paul knew that no matter what that she was as tied to him as he was to her. Besides that, she would also have the supernatural ability to both defend herself and remain unaged.

"I put milk in it for you," Paul whispered as he handed Raegan the cup of tea. The raven-haired girl took it with a small nod, her soft curls tumbling over shoulders.

"Thanks." Raegan placed her feet on the floor and sipped on the tea. Paul still had a hard time understanding how she ran here in her underwear.

Although he was less than impressed by her little outburst a couple of minutes ago, he just wanted to have a normal conversation with her. Paul wanted a chance to explain the situation.

Rae didn't say or do anything but take a sip from her tea and breathe in calm soft breaths.

"I didn't know I was coming here..."

The words were whispered gentle and slow.

"It's weird."

Paul nodded, urging her to go on.

"I don't think I know who I am anymore..." She looked back up at him. "And I can't help but wonder whose fault that is."

More silence. Paul looked deceptively calm as he sipped on his coffee. His copper fingers were wrapped so tightly around the mug that Rae could hear the mug breaking.

"Why did you..." She didn't finish the sentence but Paul knew exactly what she meant.

"You were sick." He'd repeated the words so much over the last two days that it just fell out of his mouth before he had time to truly process the weight of her question.

Raegan smiled sardonically.

Paul wished he had a better reason. Perhaps he had let personal desire affect his decision, but he really had wanted to help her. If she was in pain, he was in pain.

On the other hand it still didn't matter to Paul, he wouldn't ever apologize for protecting her. Even if it made her upset.

"You love me..." She whispered suddenly. "I... I-I can feel it in my veins, every emotion or thought process running through your mind... it's sprinting through my veins." The expression on her face seemed more confused than anything as she looked up at Paul with innocent hazel eyes.

"Everything you are? It's inside me now. " Paul cringed at the look she shot him.

It was filled with love and so much crippling agony it was hard to watch.

Paul himself was feeling very conflicted over the whole situation, but his wolf as always was confident about the decision.

The wolf told him that she wouldn't be feeling sad for long. Still, Paul felt guilty for taking away her choice.

Although in a weird way he trusted his wolf and he knew that Raegan wouldn't be agonized for much longer.

"Does that make you angry?"

Raegan snorted when she heard Paul's question, no matter what happened she couldn't ever be truly angry at Paul, even when she was feeling this bloodcurdling urge to rip him to shreds, she wanted to grab him and embrace him for the rest of eternity.

"Does that matter?" She asked sarcastically, "I thought the only thing that mattered were your personal thoughts."

Paul narrowed his eyes, a displeased expression on his face. She really was unhappy with him, and Paul knew very well what had caused it. Yet he hoped that he would know what how to fix it.

"Despite what you may think, I care about your thoughts," Paul said carefully, trying to show as many emotions as he could.

"I know you do."

Paul looked at her, surprised to hear her admit it, her face blank and her knees once again pulled up to her chest.

"You're very honest," he answered back. Raegan bit her lip.

Paul chuckled, he didn't mean to. But there was something very amusing about this situation. He just couldn't put his finger on what it was.

He couldn't really figure out if he thought this was so amusing or if his wolf was seeing the humor in this situation.

"Does that surprise you?" She asked curiously, her wide green eyes finally looked up at him in something that looked closer to curiosity than disgust.

"No."

Paul took another sip from his ceramic mug, watching her. She was different now, almost as if something akin to dejected acceptance had settled into her.

And that both saddened and delighted Paul.

But no matter what, he knew this was bound to happen. Honestly, he'd be worried if she didn't seem upset.

"You mad at me?"

Rae turned her face up and stared into Paul's now very green eyes again. He seemed to be still very nonchalant and not bothered by the situation.

"I-.." she couldn't answer that question.

"I don't know."

Paul smirked slightly as she confided to him. Somehow the fact that she was incapable of being angry with him was making a sick satisfaction creep into Paul. He felt untouchable from her anger.

"Good."

Paul took another sip off his coffee and placed the mug on his coffee table, ready to look into her beautiful green eyes only to find them glued onto his person with a fire he rarely saw in humans.

"Good? What about this situation looks remotely good to you? Huh?"

She shouted again, Paul cocked his head to the side. The anger that had consumed her in his front porch had returned in tenfold and Paul had to wonder for a second if he had missed something.

"I get to have you, that's kinda nice," he said with a shrug.

Rae stood up in one fluid motion, a motion that Paul knew she was only able to accomplish because she'd gotten his lupine grace with the mark.

"And what do I get? Misery? Pain? A fabricated notion of happiness? Your sick and perverted view of love? Tell me! What exactly is my reward in all this?"

What hurt him the most was that she'd called his love for her sick and perverted.

Yes, he and his wolf were prone to making drastic decisions, but they loved her. They loved her more then she would ever know, and nothing about their love for her was sick or perverted.

"Tell me!" Crying hysterically she rushed over to him, pushing both her palms against his chest. With her newfound strength, she easily made Paul and herself tumble to the ground, something that obviously wasn't in her plan.

Raegan could feel every inch of muscle bulge beneath her body, Paul's eyes were filled with an adoration that was making her throat close up.

It was making her anger melt away like chocolate.

There wasn't really any way to describe what she felt at the moment, nothing but no matter how much she cried and how much she raved. There was no way she could ever ignore the thick cables that connected her and Paul in a Primal way that rivaled any bond of love she had ever seen.

There was something about this man, no matter how much she hated what he did to her, she could never hate him. The way he moved and spoke, everything about him entranced her and captured her. Raegan was under his spell and she would do anything for him.

It scared her to death.

But she was so tired, so damn tired of being scared and tired and just...

Missing Paul.

She was crumbling under the emotional weight of the mark after only a day. It was pathetic and scary, she was supposed to be stronger than this.

But she wasn't, and for the moment she didn't care.

She sagged into Paul's arms. He allowed her to and held her close as she fell into him.

There were no words spoken between them and it was fine.

It was quiet...

"Will you just hold me?" Her voice was hoarse and scratchy from yelling. Paul was amused as he heard it; no matter how much Rae wanted to deny and screech, she needed him.

Paul nodded once slowly and didn't release her. Rae was so glad he didn't. She'd yelled and screeched at him and she was scared he was going to be angry at her for it. She didn't want to deal with the whole mark shit, at least for a while. Raegan just wanted to revel in him and his aura before she had to go back and try to fix the mess.

 _ **XXXX**_

 _ **Rae-Rae**_

I forgot when we'd gone from snuggling on the floor for hours to him driving me home.

All I knew now was that I missed being wrapped in his arms.

I sighed softly; somehow being near Paul has made all my doubts and problems go to dust. Yet still, I can feel them swimming just under the surface of my subconscious, almost yelling at me to get a grip and stop being so compliant.

But I was tired, the past 24 hours had drained me in more ways than one. I was ready to just lay down and go to sleep for the next week.

The next problem I'd have to face would be my family. If they'd even noticed that I was gone. Which was pretty likely, it was almost twelve.

"You look worried?" Paul asked with an amused smile.

I glanced at him. He had such a beautiful face it was making my heart hurt. Which it wasn't supposed to. Strangely I felt more at ease around him and my mind felt less jumbled and more in order. It was disconcerting to know my whole mood depended on his proximity.

It was worrying to know that I probably wouldn't be able to spend another day without seeing his face.

Yet the feeling of complete hopelessness that had grown in the pit of my stomach last night had completely vanished as I let myself enjoy Paul's company and his warmth.

"Last night I left without leaving a note or anything. It isn't something I would normally do, so I think I might've worried my mom a little bit."

Paul hummed, and I couldn't help but get mesmerized by the sound again. It really was a crime against women. Also unfair to other men.

Then again, God only made perfection, and in the looks department? Paul was absolutely perfect.

"Speaking of leaving." He turned his eyes to me and I was worried until I realized that we were actually already in my driveway. I wondered how long we 'd been there before I noticed.

I hadn't been the most perceptive person since yesterday night.

"You broke Emily's window." He quirked up his eyebrows as he spoke. I couldn't help but feel little to no remorse, I did that. How else was I supposed to handle the fact that there werewolves and vampires? And that I was a mate now, and so many other confusing things all at once that I didn't have the mind to deal with at the moment.

"Tell Emily I'll pay for it." Emily seemed like a nice girl. And I mean I'd broken her window even though she'd been so nice to me.

"You don't have to worry about it, 'cause that's not the point I'm getting at," Paul said as he turned the car off and fully turned his giant hulking body over to me. The wind pushed against the car, reminding me of my duties to my family. Yet I stayed still to listen.

"You've been marked, you have the physical attributes of a wolf now, and you were only able to break the window because of it. I'm going to need you to talk to the other mates to learn to control it. With it come the senses and the mood swings and most likely the strong need to monopolize what's yours." Paul flashed canines that looked like they could tear a hole into my body.

There was something about the way he said it, I couldn't place my fingers on It. Even now he was hovering over me inside the car and I couldn't really place what I disliked about this situation. Maybe it was the fact that I had hated it a couple of hours ago and now I could stay inside this car with him forever.

I needed a Paul break.

I reached back and opened the door of Paul's huge truck, "Thanks for the ride." I mumbled as I stepped out of it, hastily making my way across the lawn.

I was dressed in Paul's sweater that reached past my thighs and made me feel like I was drowning in yarn.

While I slowly made my way across the lawn, I saw my grandmother looking at me from the kitchen window. Again I wondered if she'd seen me in Paul's car, and how long she'd been looking at me.

I glanced back and saw that Paul was still sitting in his car, watching me intently. He was probably waiting before I got into the house to leave.

What a gentleman.

(Insert either a laugh track or a sarcastic face emoji)

I quickly walked the rest of the way to the front door and hastily stepped inside. My heart thundered in my chest as I waited against the door to hear the truck drive away.

When I looked up from the door my grandmother was standing behind me, but before I could open my mouth she held up her hand.

"I told Cassandra you went out for eggs."

I nodded, not really sure why she had covered for me but I was grateful all the same.

"Are you okay?" Her eyes were filled with so much concern and pain, it almost seemed like she knew exactly what I was going through. Like it was hurting her as much as it was hurting me.

I nodded slowly to confirm that I was, indeed, okay. Noni still didn't relax.

"Raegan, are you okay?" she asked again, this time slower and with a tone that demanded honesty.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

My response surprised her, I could tell. Her mouth was in the shape of a small "o", and her eyes widened.

I gently picked myself off the floor; I just wanted to get to my room and fall apart in peace. Without Paul I felt like a wet rag and with him I felt like a dry rag, either way, I felt like a piece of cloth, that had property of Paul Lahote embroidered on it. Somehow Paul alleviated the ache in my chest to a point where I could just think clearly.

"I'm sorry."

"Noni no-"

"I shouldn't have recommended you to Kayla when I knew Paul was Kira's father."

I don't know why but it almost seemed like my Noni knew exactly what I'd gotten involved in. And as I looked deeply into her eyes I recognized the truth.

She knew.

She knew and It was killing her inside.

Just like it was killing me.

"Noni..."

"No, Raegan, I made a whole speech and in my fear of having you get involved in my life as a councilmember, I had accidentally pushed you towards the biggest monster of-"

Immediately my insides were spurred with righteous fury, she'd insulted Paul.

Yes, he was horrible for biting me but, he wasn't a monster.

He'd held me last night even though I'd ran all the way to his house just to hurl insults at him.

"He's not a monster!" I blurted out suddenly, rudely interrupting her and her attempted apology.

"Raegan, I just mean..."

"I know what you meant Noni," I whispered softly.

Then I ran up to my room.


	10. Until all your worries are forgotten

**Authors note:** _Hi my beautiful readers it's been over two months since I've put up a new chapter and I'm so sorry for that, I suffered from major writers block and I just couldn't write anything no matter how hard I tried. But thanks to help, advice and guidelines of my amazing Beta heroicunicorn99 this chapter turned into something amazing. Basically all the credits and praise for this chapter goes to them. Also despite the fact that this chapter is really late, it is however, longer than most of my other chapters and I hope that that compensates somewhat for the lateness._

 _I want to thank cnicholson2014 for following this story, so thank you very much and I want to thank FanfavBBC for favouriting, thank you very much. I appreciate it._

 _If you're reading this you're reading my story and I thank you for it._

 _ **Disclaimer:**_ _I do not own Twilight._

 ** _-xx-_**

 _ **XXXX**_

 _ **Third**_

"For God's sake! Get up already," Taercy snapped as she roughly yanked the covers off her younger sister. She was annoyed that they had the day off and all her sister wanted to do was lie in bed.

"I said, Get. The. Hell. Up." Tae growled in frustration, roughly shoving her sister's shoulder with every annoyed word that passed by her lips.

Rae made no sound, just curled herself into a tighter ball, a sight that made Tae's heart clench in sadness. The last time she'd seen her sister like this was when their father died. Raegan had been so miserable that Tae had decided to put her own grief aside to give some sense of comfort and normality to her sister.

She hated admitting it, but Tae had a soft spot for her adorable little sister. And seeing Raegan upset always made Tae feel like she was failing as a big sister.

Despite knowing that Raegan had the tendency to both over complicate and dramatise situations, she still felt for her whenever she broke down. Rae was her little sister, and to know that your little sister was suffering and not knowing why was unbearable to her.

"Raegan Kamenna Crane, you better get your ass off up this damn bed!"

The only time anyone ever used Rae's full name was when they meant business.

"You are not only killing my mood with your ' _I'm drowning in eternal Darkness_ ' Act, but you're also making me waste my day off because I've been placed on ' _make sure you're sister doesn't drown in her tears_ ' watch. Everybody else gets to enjoy their day off while I'm stuck with you."

There was no answer from the lump under the covers. Tae frowned. Usually by now she would've woken up. Even after their father died, Tae had been able to coax a reaction out of her sister by being a little shit... But now.

Clearing her throat, she continued.

"So you had better get your ass up. We're going shopping and you are going to tell me what exactly is making you turn back to the dark side."

Tae looked down at her sister who, as expected didn't give any reaction.

"Be ready in 30, if you're not I'm getting Momma and Elae involved."

No answer from Rae. It wasn't like she was expecting it, but there wasn't anything else Tae could do. She'd already threatened her sister enough, and knowing Raegan she'd be down in 30 just like Tae demanded.

While her sister had the tendency to be stuck in her own depressing aura sometimes, she was still kind and willing to do anything to ease her family's pain somewhat.

( _If she was aware of the pain she was causing_ )

Rae also knew not to get on Momma's and Noni's bad sides.

Tae silently left the room and made her way downstairs, allowing Raegan the privacy she needed so she could get her act together before she came down. She sighed, Raegan had always been fragile and breakable like this and it always was up to either Tae or their father to pick up the pieces.

Come to think of it, Tae and her father usually glued both Elae and Raegan back together.

Since the former was horrible in any kind of social setting and the latter was so easily overwhelmed, it made Tae wondered how they both made it through college.

"And?" Kamenna asked immediately, while Tae made her way down the stairs all the while clipping short curly bangs out off her face.

Her silver bobby pins shimmered in the morning sunlight that filtered in from a nearby window.

"And what?"

"What did she say?" Kamenna prompted eagerly while she poured her granddaughter a mug off coffee. Tae took the mug and shot her grandmother a grateful smile.

She knew that even though her Noni tried to bond with all of her granddaughters, Raegan had a special bond with their Noni that Tae wouldn't ever have. It was similar to what her and her Nana Nita had; there was a likeness in their personality's and morals that just made a strong connection.

Tae knew that it also made for an extremely worried Noni whenever Raegan was upset. "Mom, she's not going to say anything. You should know that better than anyone," Cassandra, Tae's beautiful mother and Noni's daughter said softly.

Cassandra was still recovering from the death of her husband.

"She's still in ' _Eternal Darkness mode_ ' at the moment." Tae grimaced. She knew her mother and grandmother had been hoping for her to pull Raegan out of her funk.

Guilt settled heavily into her stomach.

Noni sighed and ran her hand over her face in an exasperated manner. Tae smile sadly at their grandmother.

"I was insensitive and unsympathetic towards her," Kamenna sighed, taking a sip from her coffee. "That's what caused all of this."

Tae frowned. She'd been asking her grandmother for two whole days what exactly she could've said to Raegan that threw her sister into ' _Eternal Darkness mode_ ', but her grandmother wouldn't budge. She insisted that if she wanted to know she'd have to ask Raegan herself.

"Noni, no matter what you've said to Rae, it shouldn't garner such a big reaction. From either of you."

Kamenna sighed, "That's what I thought, but I was wrong. It wasn't my place and I overstepped my bounds."

Both Tae and Cassie shared a look, The mother and daughter duo easily understanding that, whatever upset Raegan had nothing to do with their grandmother.

"Mom..." Cassie said, exasperation clear in her voice.

Cassie hadn't always been the voice of reason in her household, she usually left that for her husband Maeson.

But he wasn't here anymore, and she somehow felt like she was only just now feeling the weight of being a mother.

Sure, Cassie knew her daughters, and she could anticipate their reactions to everything. But she never had to deal with everything. It was like reading about a job, just because you knew how to do it, doesn't always mean you can literally do it. And that's how she'd felt for the past year.

She felt like she'd been around when the times were fluffy and fun.

But when the storms hit she always hid in the cellar while her husband was out there trying to make sure their house didn't fall apart.

"Noni, no offence but you should've known better. Not only because it's Rae-Rae, but because she's a human being. If you knew she was dealing with something, you should've come to us instead of saying stuff that would undoubtedly upset her." Tae took another sip of her coffee, observing her grandmother carefully.

Cassie nodded along with her daughter. While she doubted her mother had purposely said anything to upset Raegan, she knew better then anyone that her mother could be a little oblivious at times.

She sighed. Cassie had hoped Tae would be able to cheer Raegan up in some way. Tae was more equipped at handling life than her other daughters.

Cassie couldn't pretend to know what her daughters were thinking every waking moment of the day. But Tae was always the one picking up both Elae and Rae from the depths of their sadness, and it was a gift that Cassie knew she got from her father.

"I didn't know it was going to upset her, I just...I was upset," Kammenna whispered.

She cleared her throat, and continued. "She was upset and I...I said some stuff without thinking, even though I should've helped her."

Noni scrunched up her eyebrows and laid her cup on the table with a tired sigh.

Tae pursed her lips, taking another thoughtful sip off her coffee . She felt a tiny prickle of realization.

"Does this have anything to do with the pirate angels you told us to stay away from?" Tae asked slowly.

Noni's eyes flashed with the truth even if she didn't say it.

"What's so bad about them anyway? Are they on some gang stuff?"

Noni closed her eyes when the familiar sound of Reagan's boots clumping down the stairs rang through the kitchen.

Getting Raegan dressed and out of her room was one impressive feat altogether.

"Rae-Rae! You got dressed!"

"You told me to." Raegan's sullen eyes seemed to glare out at her family.

Cassie and Tae shared a worried look. She was being sulky and clearly didn't want to go out with Tae.

"Yes I know, but it's always a surprise when you actually do as I tell you to," Tae trilled.

"Taercy, please, stop mocking your sister." Cassandra turned to her younger daughter, and smiled. "I'm really glad you've decided to go out with your sister, Raegan."

Raegan's lips turned upside down in a childlike manner.

"Yeah. Decided."

Taercy rolled her eyes while she watched her little sister seethe in childish anger.

"So what did you do up there for two days? Join the night's watch?"

"What?"

Taercy waved her hand over her sisters glum appearance with a grimace, "You look like you've joined Jon Snow in his infinite celibacy."

Cassie had to hold back a snort. While she never enjoyed seeing her daughters sad, she always enjoyed watching Taercy do her best to cheer her sisters up.

"First of all, his name is Aegon Targaryen, put some respect on it. Second of all, why does it matter what I wear? I don't even want to go!"

Both girls stared each other down, one sister looking severely annoyed while the other looked like she might start shitting rainbows any second.

"I personally believe that clothing affects moods, if you feel sad you tend to go with dark unnoticeable colours and baggy clothing and when you feel happy the clothes are always more vibrant. Now since you feel sad and this trip is meant to make you feel somewhat less grumpy, I ask you to please change into something that makes you look...less like you're waiting for the night king to come and destroy your world and More like you've just taught your dragons to fly!"

Raegan turned to her mother. She wore an expression that reminded Cassie so much of a bored cat that she had to hold back another snort of laughter. Her eyes silently begged her mother to let her go back to bed.

"Just go with it," The mother of three mouthed.

Taercy winked at her mother, already sensing Raegan's mood changing slightly to match the brighter pace of their day.

"Don't expect too much," Rae grumbled while she made her way up to her room, no longer completely unwilling to go along with the shopping trip.

"Okay, I'm gonna go and change out of this sweater."

As Cassie watched Taercy leave her coffee cup on the table and skip off, she began to think.

It had been a while since her mother and Raegan had had a disagreement. Cassandra couldn't even remember what it was about, but all she remembered was the constant tension. Neither woman would budge, and it wasn't resolved until Taercy had forced the two to talk it out.

This time it felt different. Noni had wounded Raegan, and unintentionally or not, it was still serious.

She turned to her mother and was about to ask her when Kamenna stood up.

"I have a council meeting to attend," the elderly woman said softly, before she rushed from the kitchen.

Cassie was left contemplating what exactly Maeson had left her to deal with by herself, and the feeling of being an inadequate mother slammed back into her like freight train.

Unlike all the other times, Maeson couldn't comfort her and tell her that he was there, and that he would smooth out all the kinks and fill up all the gaps.

Now there were holes and uneven edges.

And she had no idea how to smooth or fill anything.

Footsteps walking down the stairs brought her out off her stupor.

There was a moment of silence while Rae sat down at the table. Cassie placed a cup of tea in front off her youngest daughter, ignoring her annoyed stare.

"Why are you making me do this?" Raegan asked quietly, her eyes barely focused on her mother. Her voice trembled with a thousand emotions that were about to erupt.

"Rae-Rae, I just want you to feel better, you know? There's really no harm in you spending some more time with your sister, and I'm positive Taercy can help you be a little more...cheery."

Raegan's green eyes suddenly glared into her mothers, inexplicably furious.

"Tae! Helpful? Ma, are you kidding me? Tae's as helpful as a dirty rag!."

"Ouch!" Taercy cried out sarcastically from up the stairs. "I have feelings, you know."

Cassie sighed, completely confused as to why Rae and Elae had such a bad perception of Taercy. She was in some ways more like their father then the other two.

"Well, dear, she's less oblivious than Elae, and I'm..." Before Cassie could finish her sentence, Rae had shaken her head to quiet her mother. It had taken her a moment, but now she understood Cassie's lack of experience in this department.

As well as her mother's complete inability to be a whole person without her father.

Raegan couldn't judge her mother for being dependent on their father, but in many ways Raegan wished she wasn't. In some ways Raegan wished that her mother actually knew what to do and how to cope without their father there.

Raegan supposed that after their father's death she'd expected Cassie to be their new rock. After all, Maeson had been Cassie's rock and her protector, the only thing keeping her from seeing how hard life truly was. The only thing obstructing the hardships of parenthood from her view, the only thing keeping her from seeing the lows of marriage.

It made her a little angry that her mother was clueless. Rae knew she was still grieving, but wasn't everybody else? The responsibility of their family had fallen onto Cassie, and now she couldn't bear it.

A part of Raegan wanted to scream at her mother, to tell her how unfair everything about this situation was. That part was angry and restless, and it wanted to pick a fight.

But it never did, It never could... Because there was another part of her that was so much like her father, and that part enjoyed her mother's somewhat childlike view on life and it's hardships.

Cassie had left Lapush at 16 years old, to live with her aunt Kamber in Chicago. She had been tired of her mother suppressing her life. Tired of the reservation life and all the tiresome obligations that came with it. She wanted something wild and adventurous, she wanted to see what was beyond La push. In a way she did, but not enough. She was still so innocent. Cassie married Maeson a month after meeting him. Needless to say, she was lucky and grateful that they were soulmates, otherwise her life could've taken a turn for the worse.

Cassie realized a couple of hours after her husband's death that life waited for no one. She realized she hadn't really known anything about life. Immediately she knew that no matter how her life went on, she would never find someone as perfectly matched for her as Maeson was.

But she didn't mind.

Her husband had been her forever guy and she was fine if she had to finish her journey by herself.

She figured it was time for him to get some rest, he had been keeping both their worlds afloat for close to thirty years.

He deserved a rest.

 _ **XXXX**_

"We're not talking bout it," Tae said easily.

Raegan turned away from the car window to her older sister and frowned.

"Seriously though, you actually do look like your expecting the night king to come and devour you at any moment. Trust me, it's ain't a good look. It's scary and worrying." Taercy looked over to Raegan, whose face remained stony as it glared out the window.

"Okay, here's the deal," she started again. "I'm here to cheer you up. So thats what I'm gonna do. Like it or not. If you don't wanna talk about whatever's got you down, we won't."

Raegan simply shrugged. Her sister's descriptions were right. She did feel like death was imminent, and that Paul's incessant calling, her inability to block him and the constant gaping and aching hole in her chest, were slowly making her lose the last grasp she had on her mind.

She could hardly think past Paul, his name, his body, his mind, the wolf, the mark, the letters that made up his name, his eyes, the fact that he had beige tiles in his bathroom and his toothbrush was blue.

It was seriously making her want to throw herself over a bridge.

Raegan knew why she hadn't yet. Paul practically guarded her bedroom window every night.

It was the only think keeping her afloat.

"Thanks?"

Tae nodded, seemingly disinterested, but finally glad to have gotten a reaction. Tae knew from experience that pushing her sister to do something wouldn't do anything but make Raegan even more stubborn.

And so Taercy would wait, eventually letting Rae do the talking.

"We're here!" Tae said excitedly as she parked the car outside of the mall. After driving for what seemed like days to Raegan they'd finally arrived at their destination. She sighed reluctantly and was about to step out off the car when her phone rang. She took the pink device out off her pocket anyway, just to stare at the name flashing on the screen, despite knowing she wouldn't answer. Those four simple letters that made a name brought so much warmth into her soul.

It was absolutely ridiculous.

It was the 47th time Paul had called today and Raegan couldn't be more happy, it was like he knew she needed it. Like he knew she needed to know he was thinking about her and her safety.

On one hand Raegan loathed it, but on the other hand she couldn't help feel a feeling of joy spread through her.

With a sigh she pocketed her phone and stepped out off the car. She was immediately confronted with her sister's hazel eyes.

"Let's shop. Until all your worries are forgotten."

Raegan watched her sister walk off and sighed once again while she followed her sister into the shopping mall.

 _ **XXXX**_

Raegan sighed, her head was hurting and her chest ached. She didn't want to be here in Port Angeles, and of all things shopping. Of course she didn't want to be with Paul either, but considering the circumstances she didn't want to be to far away from him either.

It was the most annoying thing. She didn't want to be anywhere near him but being too far away from him physically hurt her.

She sighed again while she sat outside of the changing room, just waiting for Tae to show her another outfit. Something which she might have enjoyed a couple of days ago, but just seemed pointless now.

She hadn't even been able to read a book yesterday, all she did was sit underneath her window and press her ear against the wall so she could hear Paul's heart beat in the forest behind her home, because apparently that's how pathetic she'd become.

"Okay, how do you like this one?" Tae asked, excitedly stepping out of the changing room. This time she'd picked a black sweater dress that emphasized all the right things, yet was still very modest.

Raegan shrugged. She hadn't wanted to go anyways so if her sister was upset by her lack of reaction, it was karma. But somehow Taercy took it in stride, always able to read her sister's expressive green eyes like a book.

If she wasn't feeling like complete crap, Raegan might've applauded. The dress looked amazing on her sister. She was almost jealous.

"I like it too, so I'm gonna get it," Tae said and smiled happily again before she walked back into the changing room. Leaving Raegan alone so she could go back to drowning in her feelings.

Her phone rang again.

78th, Raegan counted mentally. He'd been calling more frequently in the past hour, almost like he sensed that she'd left Lapush. Of course he was worried.

The phone stopped ringing for a moment, then started back up.

79th, Rae took her phone out of her pocket just to see the name flash over the screen, somehow the fact that she could press one button and speak with him was something that relieved her whole being. She frowned at the pink device again, feeling once again that her traitorous mind and body wanted so badly to just hear Paul's voice.

Her phone screen went black again, and she sighed, trying hard to hold back tears as she stared at the black screen.

Raegan closed her eyes when once again the phone vibrated in her hand, only this time, before the ringing could even go off, Raegan answered, placing the phone against her ear.

Desperate to hear anything from Paul.

"Raegan?"

Raegan stayed quiet while she listened to Paul whisper her name, tears already falling from her eyes. Sadly she came to the realization that she'd missed Paul so much that hearing his voice was making her cry.

"Raegan, are you there?"

He asked again, somehow still soft, like he knew she was only going to listen and he knew why. He was just letting her, he was allowing her to simply hear his voice, to just bask in the fact that he was on the other end of the line and if she didn't want to she didn't have to do or say anything.

But she did, she wanted to say so many things, she wanted to yell and tell him what an asshole he was. And she wanted to whisper gently how much she'd missed the sound of his voice and the warmth of his skin.

"It hurts so much," she whispered, her voice already cracking.

Before Raegan actually knew what she'd said, she'd already said it.

"I know,"

And there it was, the thing Raegan never really wanted to hear out of Paul's mouth because it just reminded her of the fact that he knew all the consequences that marking her would bring and he did it anyway. A surge of anger came over her again.

She hung up the phone and punched the mirrors of the changing rooms, making them shatter all through the store.

Raegan sobbed loudly while she continued to shatter anything in her path. She knew that she was channeling some of Pauls anger, but it didn't matter, she was angry and she wanted to destroy everything and ask God why her?

Why not somebody else?

Why her?

 _ **XXXX**_

Tae watched herself in the hideous pink dress and grimaced, wondering why in the world she had chosen this dress for herself. It was horrible in so many ways, so she took it off and put on her own clothes.

Taercy had promised herself that this would be a productive trip. She'd even made a mental list of things she wanted to achieve.

 **1\. Cheer Up Rae-Rae**.

This wasn't exactly going well, she realized, peaking out the dressing room door. Her sister was slouched in an unattractive manner while glaring at her phone. It was definitely a guy that was bothering her.

 **2\. Find an amazing dress(es), whichever dresses caught her eye she would buy.**

This also was not going well. They were onto the third store and Tae had only found the one dress, which also wasn't really what she'd been looking for.

 **3\. Find, and then acquire the number of a cute boy(s).**

This was the only thing going well so far. Taercy had given her number to one hottie, and had tried to get another number for Raegan. Off course the look Raegan shot the boy was enough for the guy to basically run away from them.

With an exasperated groan, she put her own clothes back on and hung the brightly colored dresses back up. Straightening her sweater, she walked out of the dressing rooms to search for her sister.

At least that was what she'd intended to do, but she was interrupted by crashes and screams.

Screams she would recognize everywhere.

She'd had nightmares about those screams since she was 10.

Needless to say Tae did her best to not anger her little sister anymore.

She could turn from angelic to demonic in under a second.

Tae shivered again remembering the Barbie doll incident, from when they were kids. Never again would she deliberately destroy something that Raegan held dear. It would only end in despair.

Tae opened the door leading out of the changing room and found her sister, throwing racks of clothing around. She wanted to stop her, she wanted more then anything to go to Raegan and tell her to stop throwing a tantrum like a three year old, but she couldn't.

Yes, her sister was trashing the store and they'd get arrested if they didn't leave here soon, but there was something about the anger Raegan was portraying that chilled her.

It was raw and animalistic, unlike she'd ever seen before. It was scarier than when she'd destroyed the beloved Barbie.

And mind you that was already bad enough.

After several more seconds, there was a deafening silence when Raegan ran out of the store.

Taercy quickly followed, trying to get out before security or the cops arrived. She found Rae sitting by the car door with a haunted expression on her face.

"We have to talk," Tae said, glaring down at Raegan.

She didn't say anything, just stared at her phone that would not stop ringing. The name Paul blinked up on the phone and Rae sighed.

"I know I said I wouldn't force you. But this? Rae-Rae! You're lucky the security wasn't there! So...spill. What the hell has been happening with you?"

Raegan didn't say anything, her, eyes still glued on the phone that was just vibrating without fail in her hand.

Tae sighed, and held her hand out for her sister. "How bout lunch, kay? Come on Rae, my treat."

 _ **XXXX**_

 _ **Rae-Rae**_

"Okay, Raegan. Speak," Tae said while taking a bite off her Pasta.

I didn't want to tell her anything, I had no desire to discuss my feelings. I just wanted to go home and curl up under my covers, the conversation with Paul and the aftermath had drained me off all my energy.

I didn't want to talk about it, mainly because I just couldn't. I had no desire to drag my sister into the shit show that was the Lapush pack and Paul.

My heart thudded loudly, and I was sure everybody could hear it. Every little noise, every glass clinking and fork scraping made my spine tingle and my hair stand on end.

God, what was wrong with me?

I wanted to talk, I truly wanted to lay my heart bare and have somebody support me and my decision about Paul.

No matter what.

Despite Tae's obvious shallowness, she gave decent advice. I had to give her that. When it came to relationships and guys, Taercy was the expert.

"There's a guy," I whispered.

Which made Tae hum, and nod. "Yep. Paul, right? I got that already."

I sighed, closing my eyes, taking in a deep breath. I tried to decide for the last time if I should tell Tae about Paul. Even though I couldn't tell her about the supernatural aspect, I could at least tell her about the relationship part.

Right?

"What's with him?" Tae asked, her voice dead serious. "I mean, really, Rae. Every since this whole thing with him you've been a wreck. It's... it's like you're a whole different person, And that's Rae, seeing as you're a stubborn bull who doesn't like change."

"He has, um, recently expressed some, well, interest in me," I said carefully, trying to asses Tae's reaction. Of course she has the audacity to smirk. Her little giggle almost sent me over the edge again.

"Ah ha! So you like him?"

I shrugged. Tae was so simple, there was no situation too complicated for her. That kind of annoyed me.

No, that really annoyed me.

"It's complicated."

Tae snorted and rolled her eyes. "It's always complicated with you."

I opened my mouth to say something but had no comeback.

I'm a very simple person but being bound to somebody against your will and then having to spend the rest of your lives with them isn't exactly an easy or fair situation.

I mean yes off course, I knew what it entailed but my emotions and mind were all jacked up and I couldn't understand squat anymore.

"You have no idea what you're talking about," I mumbled as I took another bite of this heavenly Pasta Alfredo, literally the only bright light in my life at the moment.

"Enlighten me," Tae said cheekily, her perfectly tweezed eyebrows arching challengingly.

I chewed carefully and watched my sister for a while, really contemplating if I should tell her anything Paul related. He wasn't somebody I'd actually want Tae to meet any time soon.

"Paul did something he wasn't supposed to, and... it's been bothering me because the thing he did is bad but my body and heart literally can't stop thinking about him." I explained easily enough, although that isn't really the real situation. Because I won't really be able to walk away anyhow.

"Did he rape you?" Suddenly Tae's eyes were burning with unmatched fury.

For a moment I was tempted to tell her that yes, I had been violated. Just not quite the way she thought.

"No," I said, shaking my head. "He can just be an ass."

"Oh, you've got yourself a Darryl, then?" Tae asked with a grimace.

Darryl, Elaery's ex-boyfriend, cheated on her in our own basement. That happened when she was 18 and she hasn't had a boyfriend since.

It was sad if you thought about it, but Elae confessed she'd known he'd been cheating on her for 5 months already. She just didn't bring it up because she didn't want to lose him. I was only 11 at that time but it officially confirmed for me that my older sister could not take care of herself alone, she needed someone.

Aside from that, thanks to that horrible experience and Darryl, we now have a name for bastards that have hooked themselves into your heart.

Bastards that are assholes and you can easily give an ass whooping go by the name off Tyrone, famously named after Tae's Ex of 2 months who cheated on her with our neighbor and got tasered for it.

Trust me, it was fun watching my older sister taser the crap out of him.

And then there is the general name for the guys who you just fall out of love with. We call those James, famously named after my last boyfriend who stood by me for 3 years. Eventually we just didn't love each other anymore.

I sighed, the list went on to so many more names because Tae, had had so many boyfriends she had every bastard and we'd been able to give every bad scenario a name because of it.

"No, that's not it," I muttered. Paul was nothing like Darryl, even though he'd done something horrible to me, there was genuine love for me there. I knew because I felt whatever he felt and I could clearly feel the love for me there.

Tae took another bite off her pasta and hummed.

"Paul is, nothing we've ever seen before..." I finished lamely. I looked back up at my sister who took another bite of pasta and said nothing.

"What's he like?"

I shrugged, again in thought, somehow my mind had calmed down somewhat. I was able to think clearly, from the little things I knew about Paul. How would I describe him?

"Intimidating, angry and intense...yet surprisingly understanding?"

Tae raised her eyebrows In surprise, "That's different from your usual type."

I shook my head, Paul wasn't even close to my type. I didn't even have a type, I just loved whoever I loved.

Sadly it applied with Paul now as well, even though I doubted the love was real. Because of the imprint.

"Also sis, angry is never a good type. Don't you remember that date Elae went on with Craig? He got all pissy cause she wouldn't kiss him. Thank God we were home otherwise Elae would've been dead."

Ugh. Craig he was a type A asshole. Mom's friend Hannah had set up Elae with him because she thought the girl needed to go out and date more. Which now, in hindsight, it really hadn't been any of Hannah's business. But of course back then (3 years ago), Elae hadn't really had any interests in boys after Darryl, so I understood.

"Just for the record, I don't have a type. I know angry is never a good thing, I'm trying to distance myself from him."

Tae rolled her eyes and cocked her head to the side with another bite of Pasta, "You have a type," she said with a snort.

Did I really have a type?

"Do I?" I asked worriedly, unsure of whether there was a pattern in the boys I've dated. Which were only two mind you, James and Richard, and of those two only Richard was an ass.

"Um, yes? Both Richard and James just had this aura around them. It was a lil scary, because half the time you were the one that was drowning in it."

I pursed my lips. I wanted to deny it, tell her she was wrong, but I realized maybe she was right.

"Listen, it's not a bad thing to like people with a commanding presence. But it becomes an issue when you can't tell which choices are yours anymore."

There she went again, striking a chord even though she barely had any idea what she was talking about. Her advice was spot on and always insightful. Which astounded me, because it was like watching another person give advice out of Tae's mouth.

"Speaking of commanding presences..." Tae said excitedly. Which made me once again focus on her.

"I met a guy!"

I nodded absentmindedly. This was no surprise. Tae met lots of guys.

"We've been texting, and he's nice," She said with a huge smile on her face. Which made me frown. If there was one word Tae had never used to describe a potential boyfriend, it was "nice". The best she'd done is "he has a good heart". Which meant even though he seems like an asshole he's super great.

And They were never really great.

"Did you just say he's nice?" I asked incredulously.

Tae nodded and hummed. "He's nice," She giggled again, a giddy smile coming over her face.

"Okay, so when you say 'I met a guy', you mean like you met a guy?"

I asked, teasing.

Tae stuck her tongue out. "I know what you're doing, you know, Seth is a very nice young Pirate angel and if he'd let me I would definitely raid his ship."

I closed my eyes. Of course Tae would be dragged into this bullshit with me. Of course Tae couldn't have been left out of it.

"Don't tell Noni, she might actually murder me." Tae said with a grimace. "I broke her forbidden rule about the Buff guys. Which, by the way, is a stupid rule. I mean Seth crazy Hot and I gotta give it up cause you say so? I say Ah Hell no and I stand by it." Tae finished with a shrug.

"You've given this a lot of thought, haven't you?" I asked amused again, I had no idea which one of the wolves Seth was. But I'd finally remembered why nobody in my family was worried about Tae's parade of Assholes.

Tae got bored easily, and she was very impatient and very violent when crossed.

"Yea, especially after first meeting Seth. I mean I love Noni but we can't listen to her forever. We're already in our twenties! We should be able to make our own decisions on who to trust."

"I mean they're not always going to be the right decisions, but life isn't always about being right, Life is about living and learning, and I'm going to go for him despite Noni," Tae continued passionately,

I hummed absentmindedly.

"It ain't always about the Why's either Rae, sometimes it's about what's now."

I stared at my sister for a long time after that.

Somehow she hit the nail right on the head.

I couldn't help but think who exactly was learning from who on this shopping trip.


	11. My window's open

**Author's note** : _Hi My beautiful readers, it's been a couple of months since I've actually updated this story and I feel really bad about that. I've just been dealing with some personal stuff that I had to settle before I could really get my mind back into this story. But thankfully I can now peacefully return to the story and hopefully finish it. As always I want to thank my amazing Beta Heroicunicorn99 for being my beta, I'd been gone for a long time but when I returned you were ready to be my beta again and I can't say how grateful I am for that._

 _I want to thank BJBabyBear, ITookJacobToTheDingo, just another PJO fan and tamarabvillar for following my story it means so much to me. And I want to thank kitsune-miko-witch, Slyshy21, polacullenswan2627, just another PJO fan and tamarabvillar also for adding my story to your favourite list, I really appreciate it. And I hope you like this chapter._

 _If you're reading this, you're reading my story and I thank you for it._

 **Disclaimer:** _I do not own Twilight_

 _ **-xx-**_

 _ **XXXX**_

 _ **Third**_

Rhonda, you alright?" Tae asked while she pinned rollers into the hair of one of her clients.

Rhonda came by almost every day to get her hair blow-dried. They all knew that Rhonda really just came by to see them.

"That Asshole actually dared to show his face at my house." She hissed angrily as her hands curled into fists.

Joy frowned. "Max came by?"

Rhonda nodded angrily. She squeezed her eyes shut petulantly, trying not to throw a tantrum.

"He came by to ask me to ' _settle the divorce peacefully_ '," Rhonda said mockingly.

Both Joy and Tae immediately stopped what they were doing and turned concerned eyes to Rhonda. It had been no secret to the reservation that Rhonda and Maxon's divorce was a messy one. Seeing as Rhonda was very prone to temper tantrums and childishness and Maxon was very stubborn.

News traveled fast in a small town like theirs. Rhonda's divorce had been the talk of the town ever since Tae came to live here and surprisingly it still was.

"What did you tell him then?"

Rhonda pursed her lips angrily once more and huffed. And Tae couldn't help but wonder how exactly this woman was surviving by herself. Rhonda vaguely reminded her off her mother. Who while in her late 40's still acted like she'd been born a week ago.

"I told him to fuck off and that I'd shoot him if he ever showed up on my property again." The woman said proudly making both Tae and Joy turn to each other and snort.

Rhonda would perhaps never learn, but she didn't shy away from a challenge.

"You can't disrespect me and then want to settle things peacefully." She started righteously. Her tapping finger on the salon chair helped her focus her anger. "If you wanted to settle things peacefully you should've done so from the start." Once again folding her arms over her chest in indignant anger, Rhonda glared at the wall.

"That's right," Tae said and smiled at Rhonda. "He can't disrespect you and then come to your house and demand respect."

"So how are you gonna settle the divorce?" Joy asked curiously, running her hand through her client's hair to ensure maximum volume. "Have you talked to a lawyer yet?

Rhonda pursed her lips. "Honestly, I had some ideas at first but my divorce lawyer advised me against that. I guess I've decided to just take all his money, the house and that apartment he has in Seattle where he went to do **business**..." The woman finished triumphantly, putting air quotes around the word business.

Everyone knew that the business was a model in her early twenties.

Tae snorted in laughter that was cut off by Claire and Quill walking into the Salon. Their arms still wrapped around each other lovingly while they whispered sweet, stupid things in each other's ears.

The two were completely lost in each other as Claire guided Quill to the back room, where they were either going to make out or hang up Claire's stuff.

Or both.

Joy shook her head. "Can you imagine being neighbors to that?" She asked with familiar sarcasm and amusement.

Rhonda grimaced. "I can." Tae couldn't help but snort another laugh since Rhonda was actually their neighbor.

"You get used to the sounds after a while," She continued. Tae couldn't help but giggle at the sound of Rhonda's voice.

The clear envy in it was almost suffocating. But it was also something she was very familiar with. After all, she knew what it felt like to want something you couldn't actually have and not because you were unable to, but because there were so many reasons why it could never happen.

She knew what it felt like, but unlike Rhonda, she wasn't as desperate for that certain sense of comfort. Tae had always known what she wanted. Her father was always very clear. He'd always known his daughters very well. Tae knew that her father was trying to give them the freedom to decide and find out who they were. He always said that he would give them guidelines and let them figure out the rest for themselves about who, what, or whatever they wanted to be.

Tae knew that came from a place of kindness but also a place of suppression and a place of pain. Her father had never had the privilege to be who he wanted to be he was always the savior, always the Hero, always the sacrifice.

Taercy figured that after a while he stopped trying to be who he wanted to be and started to be what people needed him to be. She had no doubt in her mind that he was happy. He had always been happy to be a caregiver. He was somebody that always made sure everybody was alright even if it cost him his life.

Even after becoming an adult and moving out of his mother's house. Her father had been given a wife that was inept, unequipped and unable to handle life so he had to keep being the Shield, the Hero, and the sacrifice.

Tae realized that deep down she always knew that this would never change for her father. Because even After he had his wife, and after he thought that maybe later on in life somebody would guard him, God, had given him 2 daughters that were in some ways just like their mother. They crumbled at the sight of hardships, they crumbled at the sight of despair, and they dug themselves into holes too deep to ever climb out of by themselves.

Therefore Tae knew that after her father's death there would be no such thing as unconditional and fully committed for her.

To be fully committed to somebody meant that you would have to settle down, to chain yourself up to someone and become one with somebody else.

It meant that she would have to stop trying to glue her sisters and her mother together.

She remembered the last words her father spoke to her. "No matter what they think, no matter what they say, you are selfless, no matter what they think, do not lose sight of who you are and what you've always been." She knew now what it meant. Her father was so happy in this life, loving his children so much, adoring his wife so much. He didn't miss who he wanted to be, because he'd never known who he was. But he knew who his daughters were, and that was enough. He knew that Tae wasn't him. She was selfless, strong, intelligent, somewhat self-involved and a little pushy. Tae was not the same as him, and that was okay.

Tae was brought out of her musings by a hand moving in front of her eyes. "Are you alright? You've been staring into space for a while now." She rolled her shoulders, her back felt tense and her mind hazy.

"I'm fine, it's just. . . When I see you two together it reminds me of something."

Claire pulled a face like she couldn't really believe that Tae had been staring into space like that and for no particular reason.

"You sure you're alright? I mean-"

Joy cut off Claire, with a cough and turned to Quill who was being harassed by Rhonda.

"You two are way too loud, it's making it hard for me to sleep at night."

Claire shot Rhonda a nasty look.

"You know, you could just move out?" Claire said with a shrug, her mouth serious but her eyes playful.

Rhonda looked incredulous before she turned to Joy, "Did you hear that? These young people act like I have money to buy myself a new house. If I did I would buy myself a new husband!"

Tae grimaced, thinking that maybe Rhonda needed more support than she let on, and that perhaps she needed the words of encouragement more then she asked for.

"You mean buy yourself a new ex-husband..." Joy said dryly while pointing the curling iron at her best friend.

"Yeah, you know what I meant." Rhonda trailed off sadly, making Tae's heart ache that she had no grasp of the situation since Rhonda never seriously spoke about it. Tae could understand why, but she still wanted to help. Even though Rhonda came to the salon every day, Tae realized she still barely knew her.

Rhonda coughed quietly. She looked back up at her friends and a somewhat watery smile graced her face.

She was going through it, it showed on her face and in her sudden change of demeanor. It almost seemed like she was telling them that the visits to the salon were the only things keeping her from feeling utterly alone.

Tae couldn't help but smile, even though Rhonda didn't speak about the deep stuff. Tae was happy that they could offer Rhonda some form of comfort.

"Shouldn't you be at work or something?" Quill asked Rhonda with a grimace on his face. There was something that made Tae believe that Claire's husband wasn't very fond of Rhonda.

Rhonda stuck out her tongue and rolled her eyes. "Shouldn't you? So you can get some soundproofing in that house?"

Quill growled angrily.

Claire immediately laid her hand on his face, a gesture that Tae was sure was supposed to calm him down but only made Tae a little nervous. It seemed Claire was used to this, noticing his mood swings and reacting right. She knew what set him off, and what would hopefully calm him down. That only led Tae to the conclusion that this sort of thing happened often. Of course, Claire's husband seemed like the aggressive type. But Tae was surprised that he would lose his temper so easily, and it defeated the point of the Pirate Angel theory.

Joy seemed to notice the tension hanging in the room from both her customers and employees. So the woman turned to her son with somewhat angry and yet pleading eyes and she huffed. "Quill, can you just leave please, go to work, go to your house, just go anywhere but here."

Quill growled softly.

Tae's eyes shot up quickly. That sound was definitely not a sound humans were supposed to make. And even if they were, the only type of Humans that were supposed to make those noises were the ones you hit with bibles and splashed with holy water.

"I'll be in the back," Quill grumbled angrily and walked off.

Joy turned to Rhonda and sighed. "Must you pester my son?" she questioned with an exasperated tone that reminded everyone that this wasn't the first time she had to step into a fight of theirs.

"He starts it, I just finish it."

Rhonda got dry looks all around this time. "Technically Mama Joy finished it," Claire pointed out.

Tae looked up from where she was working on somebody's head, not understanding what went on between Rhonda and Quill.

"I thought y'all were neighbors?"

Claire shot Tae a pointed look and said, "We are." While she sat down behind her station, ready to clean up her supplies and wait for her first customer who should be arriving in 30 minutes.

Tae looked confused again. She couldn't understand how somebody would survive living next to Rhonda. But she also couldn't understand why Quill and Rhonda couldn't even pretend to get along.

"I don't understand, if y'all neighbors and Joy is Rhon's best friend then technically shouldn't you be cool with each other?" she asked and blinked once more.

Claire pursed her lips. "Rhonda keeps calling the police on us."

Rhonda hummed seemingly unashamed and unbothered. "Yeah, I do. I've told them a billion times to stop making all that noise and they don't."

"So can I ask you something?" Tae said and stopped her combing for a moment. "After you got the police? What exactly did you think would happen?"

Rhonda pursed her lips.

"I thought it would stop them from making noise, but it didn't. . . So I called the police several more times." Rhonda admitted begrudgingly.

Tae hummed and opened and closed her mouth for a while to decide what exactly she would say back to this woman or if she would say anything at all.

"Claire is right, maybe you should move... I'm not kidding, just get a house further down."

Rhonda looked downright offended while Joy looked tired like she had had this conversation many times and it was wearing on her.

"Do you have hair in your ears? I just told you I don't have that kind of money."

Claire snorted "You get a blowout every day, even though you have nowhere to be, yet you have no more money to look for a new place?"

Rhonda frowned "It almost looks and sounds like you want me not to live around here," She said with an accusing glare.

The other girls in the salon shared a look and decided that maybe this wasn't worth it.

Seth walked in then with a sunny smile on his face. It made Tae weirdly jealous because it made her realize that that smile wasn't a smile for her. It probably had nothing to do with her but it was just so undeniably Seth.

It was a smile that Seth used for everybody.

Then again she didn't want him to have a smile for her, she didn't want to dream about that smile, she didn't want to think about it every moment of the day. She couldn't because if she did it would mean that her life was no longer a life committed fully to the happiness of her family. It would no longer be a life where she could be frivolous and date stupid men while still focusing on her family.

"Quill, Seth's here!"

Even though she knew he had come for Quill he made a beeline for her and immediately swooped her into a hug. She was momentarily surprised only because Tae was used to being dismissed and put aside, but right now as he hugged her it felt like she might have been the only girl in the world.

And despite everything, to her it was a dangerous thought.

It made her mind drift back to her father, reminding her of the sacrifices her father made. It reminded her that no matter what happened she still had a duty and obligation to her family.

She had taken up the position after seeing her mother crumbling as a single parent.

In a way, Tae blamed her mother. If only Cassandra had been able to take care of her children the way a mother is supposed to Tae wouldn't feel like she wasn't born to have a life of her own. She might be self-absorbed but she wasn't selfish she was always thinking about her family. Always thinking about what the next step would be.

And honestly, Tae couldn't understand why today of all days her mind was running a hundred circles. Why her head was filled with thoughts about her father and her mother and the competence or incompetence of either.

She was brought out of her thoughts once more. By Seth squeezing his arms around her a little tighter, a little more reassuring almost like he felt her distress. Like he knew she felt unbalanced. Like he knew she felt off-kilter. Like he knew exactly what was going on inside her mind. Tae was not exactly sure whether he knew it or not, – she'd never told him – but Seth seemed so intuitive. Tae has to admit that unlike her other boyfriends it had always felt like Seth could see into her soul with his eyes. She had never been this happy mind you.

Tae was a realist. She had realistic expectations of everything. She did not necessarily believe in love at first sight. But meeting him has changed that. Tae wouldn't say she loved him. But there has been a sense of recognition when she first met him. Both of them knew that they were each other's forever person.

"Hey boy, Sup?" Tae asked.

"The sky," he answered humorously, Tae pursed her lips and rolled her eyes at Seth's childish humor.

"You seem a little glum," Seth said and pulled away from Tae. Giving her full view of his massive frame. That stood rigid with a presence that would've suffocated her, had she been less headstrong.

"I am. . . Because certain neighbors can't get along," Tae hissed childishly.

Rhonda held up her middle finger and Claire snorted in laughter.

"Rhonda, don't you have better things to do?" Quill asked, his voice edged with the familiar anger.

"Quill go to work, you two are not going to fight in my shop again... Go!" Joy said roughly to Quill and made a swooping motion with her hand to indicate she was serious and she wanted him out of her shop.

Quill growled somewhat, kissed his wife once quickly and left.

Tae raised her eyebrows to Claire who shrugged.

"Hey, I gotta go too. But if you can wanna have some dinner next Tuesday?" Seth asked quickly, almost on his way out of the store.

Tae smiled brightly, a happy feeling fluttering in her chest. It was almost ridiculous how happy she was, that he'd actually grown some balls and asked her on a date.

"No." She said and waved at him, thinking he'd continue his way out of the store but Seth stopped in front of the exit.

Tae noticed everybody go suspiciously quiet and looked around with raised eyebrows.

"No?" He asked her incredulously.

"No," Tae repeated back, a laid back expression on her face.

"Why?" Seth looked hurt by this point. While Tae sympathized with his thoughts. she sympathized with her own feelings more.

"I like to be shown some semblance of effort. Asking me out on a date, just before you're basically thrown out of my place of work is not effort. It's the opposite."

Claire had to hold back a snort of laughter at the look on Seth's face. It was almost as if he'd only just now realized what kind of person his imprint was.

"I won't say 'yes' until you get it right," Tae said and smiled devilishly.

 _ **XXXX**_

 _ **Rae-Rae**_

"Tea?"

I looked up from the book I had pretended to read an hour ago while sitting on my windowpane. Instead I was actually gazing at the woods. Because I knew my mate was there. I knew without a doubt he was gazing up at me with those blazing eyes.

Noni was standing by the door, holding a tray with two steaming mugs of tea and a plate of cookies that were probably homemade. A somewhat hesitant smile on her face.

I nodded and smiled. Mainly to appease her, because I didn't feel like I could stomach anything but my own misery at this point while hoping the smile on my face looked somewhat genuine and not a twisted grimace.

"Thanks," I whispered while she carefully handed me the steaming mug off tea. And I had to admit that even if the thought of eating anything was making my stomach hurt I couldn't deny the comfort that came with holding a steaming mug off tea.

"It's hot," Noni said curiously while she stared at me. On any other day, I would've laughed at the look on her face.

"I know," I whispered, slightly startled by the sound of my voice.

It felt like I hadn't used it in a while which I probably hadn't. I couldn't tell you how many hours had passed since I left for the mall or when I had sat down at this windowpane to stare at the glowing yellow eyes that stared at me from deep into the woods.

"You know Raegan, your mother and I've been pacing around downstairs wondering how to exactly deal with whatever's going on with you. We decided to give you sometime Rae, but that was two days ago when you arrived back from the mall with your sister and it's only gotten worse since then..." The worried tone Noni used to speak to me, resonated through my soul, like truly rattled in there trying to get me to feel anything but empty despair, but yet again nothing.

"And not only for you."

My eyes snapped up to her and I frowned. "You spoke to him." I tried to keep judgment and betrayal out of my voice, but I failed horribly and it was evident. My Noni flinched and took a step back, and I could only imagine what my face must look like.

"I had to.." She started, the momentarily surprised look wiping off her face instantly and being replaced for a look that she usually used to scold me. "You were miserable and unwilling to eat anything, If you would just stop being so stubborn I wouldn't have had to do this and you wouldn't have to go through this."

I placed my tea beside me and scoffed incredulously, "Weren't you the one that told me to stay away from him."

Noni folded her arms over each other and pursed her wrinkled lips in the way she did when she was clearly frustrated. "You know that this is not what I meant, Rae and you couldn't possibly think I value my opinion of those boys over the well being of my granddaughters, cause if that's what you think then we were never as similar as I thought we were.."

My head hurt. I genuinely felt heavy and saddened all of a sudden as her words washed over me. I knew that she only cared about me and I also knew that she only had my best interest at heart, but it wasn't her I was mad at.

The one I wanted to hate was the one person I couldn't. It was creating this fire inside of me that I feared I would never be able to extinguish.

"I just don't think I'll ever be able to look at him and not see the person who destroyed me."

The words stuck in my throat, words that replayed in my mind like a broken record. Noni's eyes filled with tears while I whispered them. And she immediately wrapped her arms around me. For the first time in what seemed like forever I accepted her hug and allowed her to comfort the emptiness that had steadily started to grow in my chest.

Noni put both her hands on my cheeks and pulled back so she could look at me, her eyes burned into mine and seemed to burn into my skin with a fire that the women in my family were known for.

"He didn't destroy you, he could never, nobody could. Do you understand that? Don't give him that power."

I blinked, legitimately startled by the intensity in my Noni's eyes. "What happened was never about you, it wasn't even about Paul. And I need both you and that dumb wolf of yours to understand that before you die of misery."

She didn't blink, and her nails were kind of digging into my skin but none of those things were really registering, nothing except the fact, that my Noni's eyes were teary. She was sad and hurt that I was doing this to myself.

Of course, I could sit here and continue to argue that she didn't understand and that perhaps nobody did.

But in a way Noni was right.

Was I willing to die to prove a point?

He hadn't destroyed me...

I was destroying myself because, in the end, nobody had the power to destroy me but myself. And even if that wasn't true, even if Paul had wounded me beyond repair. I owed it to my Noni, My father, and my family to pick up my pieces and see what I could salvage.

What I could glue back together.

"I-..."

Even if all of this made sense somewhere inside myself, I felt like I couldn't, like there was a part of me that would never be able to trust Paul because of what he'd done and maybe what he would be willing to do to keep me safe.

And I say safe with a lot of air quotes and eye roles.

"If you're worried about Paul, there are some people here to see you," Noni whispered with a gentle smile, my eyes immediately turned back to the forest. I let out a breath of relief when I found glowing golden eyes stare back at me.

But if Paul was there, then who was here?

The door opened and into my room walked a young man with wide youthful eyes, although he was a definite Pirate Angel.

He shuffled into my room and stared nervously at me while Noni shot him an encouraging smile.

"Hey, I'm Nathan."

I felt blindsided, I mean sure, Nathan was absolutely adorable but why was he here? He looked like he was forced to come here.

"Uh .. Hi?" I said awkwardly, twisting my hands together.

Noni laughed and smiled at me. "Nathan is here on behalf of his pack," she explained gently.

Which you know, did not get me any closer to anything.

Nathan, however, seemed to nod enthusiastically and his eyes sparkled.

"Yes! The pack sent me to talk to you." He said happily, like he'd been playing hints and Noni had finally guessed whatever he'd been trying to act out.

And a light bulb finally seemed to light up in my head, as I realized why exactly Nathan was here, and what his pack had sent him to do. They wanted him to speak to me, to convince me to accept Paul.

"I'm not accepting him."

Nathan's excitement seemed to die down instantly.

"I wasn't going to ask you to." He said with a look that told me he was questioning my sanity.

"Oh..."

Nathan grinned somewhat humorously and my heart burst a little at the adorable aura this boy seemed to exude. "What I was going to say is Leah sent this card for you. It's about the upcoming tribal meeting and the mate meeting the girls are having," Nathan said while he handed me the card with a pleasant smile on his face.

I swear I might be going crazy but, there was something about this guy that reminded me so much Of Paul it was ridiculous.

Which meant I was going crazy, and soon everything would start to look like Paul.

I took the card from him gently and hummed, while the boy nonchalantly turned back and headed out though before he exited he turned back to me with a mischievous expression. "Though if I were here to say something about P, I would say that you don't have to forgive him or accept him. Just listen, nothing Paul ever does makes sense at first." He said cheekily and walked out of my room.

Leaving me in a confused dazed, He was like an adorable whirlwind that just came in swirled me around and then placed me back gently on my windowpane again.

It was unsettling how much he reminded me of Paul.

I sighed, acutely aware of the way my Noni stared at me.

Nothing Paul ever does makes sense at first.

You can say that again.

"What was that?" I said while I turned to her, Noni smiled and stood up from the windowpane, gently picking up the tray off cookies and now-cold cups of tea.

"That was Nathan, and he's a bit too much energy on a good day. But thankfully just the right amount on a bad day," she said, her eyes twinkling in amusement.

She was right if only for a fleeting moment, I forgot about the gaping hole in my chest. Just for a while, I forgot about Paul and everything that he brought with him.

"He's right you know Rae-Rae," Noni whispered gently, a soft flicker of wisdom shining in her eyes. "Nobody's asking you to accept him or even forgive him. But for your sake and his own, just talk to him."

Then she kissed my temple gently and smiled once more in a very sad way before she left.

I was left there, contemplating everything, but mostly the fact that I was not only empty but physically deteriorating because of my Paul. By not talking to him, I was allowing this cursed mate mark to kill me.

Grabbing my pink phone from beside me I took a deep breath and allowed my fingers to fly over the screen and type one simple message, one sentence that I'm sure I would grow to regret.

 _ **My window's open.**_


	12. You got a date? How even?

**Author's note:** _Hi my beautiful readers, it's been a while, I've Been soo busy with school and everything but I've finally managed to put up a new chapter, and I hope it's satisfactory. Unfortunately my Amazing Beta did not help me with this one. I sincerely hope that they log on again, because my story feels incomplete without them._

 _I want to thank Sony Vegas and for following my story it really means a lot to me and I want to thank Sony Vegas again for favoriting my story I'm really grateful and I hope you like the chapter._

 _If you're reading this you're reading my story and I thank you for it._

 **Disclaimer:** _I do not own twilight._

 _ **-xx-**_

 _ **XXXX**_

 _ **Rae-Rae**_

Before I'd even opened my eyes I could tell that this day was different from the days before it.

It was warmer, easier to breathe, and the gaping hole that had been gradually growing in my chest suddenly felt insignificant.

And I didn't want to open my eyes, I didn't want to deal with whatever was waiting for me. I didnt want to face the man, in whose arms I lay. because I knew it wouldn't be pleasant. I knew that what had happened and the soothing presence he'd been last night was only fleeting.

He was fleeting.

And I only had little time before he turned back into the man who'd made my life into what it was today.

Who'd made me into who I was today.

"I know you're awake."

soft, low and indefinitely lupine.

that voice could pull me through mountains and despite everything that had been going on.

I'd missed it.

despite only knowing him for a short amount of time it felt like we'd known each other for years, Like he was engraved into my skin. which in a way he was.

thinking back to yesterday I had to resist the urge to sigh. I'd texted him hoping that we could talk about anything and everything. I had been willing to listen, or so I thought, Because the moment he'd stepped through my window I felt like I had finally been made whole again and I couldn't resist the urge to just let him hold me.

To just not deal with the problem on the inside, But allow the problems that dwelled on the surface to be fixed. And that's how I basically fell asleep in his arms.

"I'm not." I whispered grumpily while I snuggled deeper into his chest.

if I opened my eyes the trouble would start.

If I opened my eyes the illusion I'd created would shatter and I'd be back at square one.

a soft chuckle escaped his lips and I felt his hand run over my temple in a gentle manner, that gave me the urge to cry.

And I opened my eyes, and looked up, and saw him.

big green and gold flecked eyes looked down at me in amused curiosity. his smile was more of a smirk but it was warm and comforting, and he had one arm wrapped protectively around my waist while the other stroked my head sweetly. It was unlike anything I'd ever experienced.

then again Paul was unlike anything I'd experienced as well.

there was an intensity in his eyes that drew me in. A love shone there that would have terrified me had I not been marked. It was so unconditional, so all consuming that it was almost scary.

And not only did I see it but I felt it as well, It was running through me, searing my veins and wrapping itself around my heart.

"I thought you weren't up?" he questioned, and arched one eyebrow at me.

"I tried not to be." I whispered softly, and I sounded pathetic and Paul seemed to notice as he stopped stroking my head and leaned back a little so he could have a good look at my face.

His facial expression changed immediately, it was still shockingly intense just, not in the same way before. There was a playful and loving lilt to his intensity before and now there was a severity that weighed me down.

"Because of me?" he asked stoically.

I nodded, once fleetingly, not necessarily afraid of Paul but just not very comfortable with the shift in mood he had brought upon the room all of a sudden.

"Do you want me to leave?" Another question, and while I hadn't answered he immediately sat up while he asked it and threw his long legs off the bed. ready to leave my room instantly if I demanded it.

Which just, I mean who would've thought somebody that claimed me like that would be so considerate of my wishes.

Actually I knew.. because it was Paul.. he was both inconsiderate and considerate of my wishes at the same time.

"Not necessarily." I said softly, not really knowing where this was going, but regardless of anything and regardless of how good it felt to sleep in his arms, Paul and I had to have a serious conversation about everything. We had to sit down and try to find out exactly what we needed from each other.

Or actually I had to find to out whether I even wanted something from him to begin with.

"Speak clearly." a demand, I recognized it and one born out of frustration to boot.

and I couldn't refuse, My mind immediately seemed to reboot itself, and it was hard to fight it.

And that was so fucking depressing.

It was hard for me to ignore a demand he'd made.

I couldn't just refuse him when I wanted to.

"We need to talk about everything, but I don't want to do it today. I just feel this is the first peaceful night of sleep I've had in over a week, and I just want to end it on a good note."

There said clearly, and exactly What I meant.

A momentary look of surprise came over Paul's face and then understanding as he stood up off the bed. "It wasn't an order." he said gruffly, I think I could even detect a hint of shame in his voice and I frowned. "What?" I questioned, honestly at this point everything was just a confusing mess.

"I told you to speak clearly, it wasnt an order." he said this time.

I hummed. "I know."

he stepped forward, leaning one knee on the bed and took my face into both of his big hands. making me look up at him. "If you don't want to do it. Fight it."

and there it was again, that look in his face. the one that was so intense it made me want to open up my ribcage and offer my heart to him.

which I know is morbid but still.

I nodded dumbly, and he smirked in that way that made me want to beat the wolf right out of him.

"I'm leaving, but I'll be back." he whispered and kissed my temple.

I closed my eyes, because as Paul placed his lips on my forehead, it felt like my brain would explode. like He'd set it on fire with his lips. like he was trying to pour his soul into my body by way of my brain. it was intense, electric, magnetic and so much more.

I reached out to him and clutched air, and when I opened my eyes. he was gone, and all I had left of him where phantom kisses on my forehead and whispered words in my ear.

but none of that mattered, because for the first time in what seemed like forever — But was actually only a little over a week — I felt full again.

 _ **XXXX**_

 _ **Third**_

Cassandra Crane watched her three daughters as they moved around the kitchen in a weird sort of mood, off course the forty eight year old woman had noticed that her daughters had been acting exceptionally different ever since they'd moved to Lapush, but today seemed to take the cake.

Taercy seemed like she was caught up in a joke that only she was aware of, and there were moments where she'd just burst out into soft chuckles and then catch herself quickly.

It was the weirdest thing.

Elaery, seemed to float around the kitchen while she prepared breakfast. Cassie's eldest daughter was usually a very rigid and vigilant young woman. But it almost seemed like her brain wasn't inside her head today. She'd dropped her tea once already and had wordlessly cleaned it up and was now in the process of pouring herself another cup.

And then came Raegan, the daughter that Cassandra was convinced was Bi-polar, it almost seemed like whatever darkness that had been plaguing her mind in the past few days had disappeared like candles in the wind. She had even been humming this morning when she walked down the stairs. Cassie wasn't going to lie, Raegan didn't look like she'd start pooping rainbows anytime soon. But the degree of brightness that radiated in her eyes hadn't been there for a while.

And Cassie wondered how it was even here now.

The forty eight year old widow sighed and glanced at her watch, noticing that she was about to be late for her job, her eyes once again flowed back to her three daughters scattered around the kitchen. A gentle smile marring her face, no matter how useless of a mother she was. Her children had turned out more amazing then she could ever hope.

"I gotta go girls." The mother of three called out again while she took another glance at her watch.

Elaery hummed absentmindedly, Taercy smiled up at her mother from a cup of tea and Raegan waved, although she didn't look at her mother. and Cassie couldn't help it. She smiled at how much different and definitely happier the house was compared to yesterday.

the door closed and it was like a flimsy little cover had been ripped off the room, Taercy leaned back in her chair, her eyes clearly locked onto Raegan in something akin to happy suspicion, Raegan just seemed to glance at Elae suspiciously, wondering why exactly her rigid sister seemed to float on clouds today, when she hadn't really been anything akin to happy ever since they moved here several weeks ago.

and lastly Elae just seemed nervous while she glanced at both her sister's today was her date with Jared and she couldn't help but feel butterflies float in her stomach at the thought.

"What's up Rae-Rae, you seem distracted." Taercy said softly, her lips pursed in amusement. Which immediately made Raegan suspicious, especially since the look Taercy had on her face, always meant disaster would follow.

"I do? I would say Elae seems distracted seeing as this is the first time I've actually ever seen her break something."

Elae pursed her lips at Raegan's sarcasm, Elae wasn't the most graceful being in the universe. But her lack of grace aside, she knew that her sisters noticed that something was up.

"Coming from the girl who was The poster Child for depression just yesterday." Elae said while she pressed her full lips together.

Raegan's eyes narrowed and she was about to retort when Taercy interrupted them. Rolling her hazel eyes dramatically she sighed.

"Listen we can all tell something's up okay, so Let's just say what we gotta say and talk about it." she said easily, while she folded her arms onto the table and gave both off her sister's the look that clearly said ' _Cut the bullshit_ '.

Elaery grabbed her cup of tea and sat down at the table.

the three sisters looked at each other, identical looks of curiosity on their faces. the silence seemed to swallow up the table for a while before Taercy rolled her eyes and turned to Raegan.

"I heard a man's voice in your room this morning."

Raegan stiffened, not really expecting that, off course it would be illogical for her to expect her walls to be soundproof but to her knowledge she and Paul weren't talking loud.

Hell, they were barely even talking.

"And I got a feeling that's what's got you walking on sunshine this morning."

Raegan was still stiff as a board, not really giving a reaction, She hadn't really wanted anybody to know about Paul. or rather she hadn't really wanted Elaery to know about Paul. The eldest Crane sister was known for her silent judgement across the board.

"So, the last couple of days of silence and depression were all caused because of a man?" Elaery asked, genuinely confused, she wasn't one to judge when it came to men. There were a lot of values about men she had that were unconventional. so she really wouldn't judge. But they had only lived here for a couple of weeks. Like barely a month and it was just strange to Fall into a depression that big because of a man you've met only recently.

"Not necessarily." The green eyed girl said petulantly. "Also, how do you know that was a person and not the sound of the TV."

Taercy looked incredulous for a moment and then snorted loudly, while Elaery just face palmed herself. "You don't have a Tv in your room." The eldest Crane sister whispered, genuinely happy their mother or Noni wasn't here for this conversation.

"I .. Its-.." Raegan sat there stumped for words for a moment until Taercy held her hand up immediately silencing her sister with it, There was no reason for Raegan to even try and explain herself and coincidentally, the Raven haired woman knew it.

Taercy turned to Elaery with pained Hazel eyes. "Please don't tell me, that this is what I sounded like when I was her age?" genuinely worried that perhaps her father had been able to see through her lies.

which he probably did over the important stuff, but she hoped to God not about that one time she had hit Charlie Whitman under her bed when she was 21.

Elaery turned to her sister and gave her a deadpan look. "You mean when you were 14 and No, thankfully you didn't."

Raegan raised her eyebrows and turned to Taercy, a devilish look in her eyes. "14?"

Taercy opened her mouth to say something but was interrupted by Elaery who hummed and nodded. "Yea, that Charlie Whitman story She's been telling you, she wasn't 21, She was 14, and I only caught her because I happened to look out the window and watched her push this little 16 year old boy out the window." Elaery said, all the while shaking her head.

Raegan snorted and turned to Taercy who shrugged. "I could hear dad coming, and I wasn't trying to get in trouble because of Charlie Whitman, I mean he was good looking but he wasn't worth it."

"Who is?" Raegan said with a sarcastic snort. Her mind involuntarily thinking of Paul, because somewhere inside of her there was a part that thought that he was worth it.

And she didn't want to.

"I have a date today with a guy who might be." Elaery said smoothly.

Taercy and Raegan's face snapped to Elaery in an instant.

"Okay first of all, Very smooth how you slipped that in there and second of all.." Taercy said. "You got a date!? How even!?"

Raegan snorted, honestly she wanted to comment on Taercy's surprise but she was just as surprised. Elaery hadn't had a date in years. And that wasn't necessarily because she wasn't asked, but more because of the fact that Elaery was obstinate.

And unwilling.

So the fact that she had a date now meant a whole lot.

"I wanna call Tae a drama queen, but I kind of agree with her on this one ... Like how even?" Raegan said and shot her sister a curious look.

Elae smiled somewhat, it had been a while since she'd talked to her sisters like this and it was making the excitement about the date grow in her stomach.

She wanted to share this moment with her sister's, even if she wasn't willing to share the person.

"I don't really know, he asked me out and I said yes." She said and shrugged, To Elae it really was that easy.

Elae always went for an initial vibe, and with Jared she always got that vibe. There was this tension between them that charged her and the room they were in.

"Why?" Taercy asked, confusion clear on her face.

"What do you mean why?" Elae said confused, not understanding why she had to defend her reasoning.

"I think what Tae means is, Why say no to all those other men and Yes to this one?" Raegan elaborated carefully. Not really wanting to offend Elae or make her shut off again.

Elae rarely ever shared anything with them, since Darren. And the fact that she chose to now was a big deal to her.

"He's nice." Elaery said with a smile that made both Raegan and Taercy smile.

Elaery had a lot to say about Jared, but she wasn't sure yet or rather she didn't really want to share those things with her sister's yet, for som reason she wanted to keep Jared private, he was her indulgence.

Her guy.

Her Jared.

"So why tell us?" Tae asked, blunt and always straight to the point, and she had a pretty big point, Elaery had never bothered to share anything like this with them and there must be a reason why she decided to do so now.

Elae blinked, and Rae raised an eyebrow at Tae's lack of decorum.

"What?" Elae questioned.

Tae smacked her lips together while she took another sip of her tea. "What I mean, is You never bothered before, Why now?"

"I need help." The oldest Crane sister said bluntly, Elae wasn't embarrassed by the way she looked but she recognized That there was a certain look she wanted to achieve for this date and she wouldn't be able to do it by herself.

"With what?" Tae questioned, curiously, secretly hoping her sister would ask her for a haircut. Her sisters hair was beautiful but the cut Elae wore it in just made it look drab and bland.

"I want to look a certain way and I don't think I'm going to be able to achieve that by myself." She said softly uncertainty blunt in Elae's voice.

Raegan pressed her lips together, she wouldn't ever understand the insecurity Elae held within herself. She was a beautiful young woman and it was alright if she acted like she knew it.

There wasn't anything wrong with self confidence,

"You want us to Help you get dressed for your date?"

Elae nodded.

Both her sisters seemed very surprised by her request. And Elae supposed that she could understand why that was. She wasn't the most open person with her sister's, favoring to do things her own way and not involving her sisters in anything she did.

"You sick?" Tae asked.

Elae shook her head.

"Being blackmailed?" Tae asked.

Elae shook her head once Again.

"An Alien clone that is impersonating my sister, in order to learn about the way of humans?"

Raegan snorted and even Elae had to roll her eyes.

"You're making me regret asking for help."

Raegan snorted again and ran her hand through her long curly hair. "We're just surprised Elae, I mean it's been a while since you've asked us for anything. Let alone fashion advice." The youngest Crane said with a shrug.

It was only Natural for them to be surprised.

Elae shrugged, perhaps her sister's were right. It was unusual for her to do this.

"I get it." She said easily.

Tae smacked her lips together. "So what's so special about this guy that you need to look ... ' _a certain way_ '" the middle Crane sister said and put Air quotes around look certain way.

Taercy, was truly a little surprised that her sister would ask her for any advice. Let alone when it came to fashion and stuff. Taercy's and Raegan's styles were vastly different from Elaery and so the fact that their sister would ask them for advice meant that she really wanted to impress this man.

Whoever he was.

"Everything." Elaery said with a serious face.

Raegan plucked some grapes off her bowl of fruit and popped it in her mouth. "Who is he?" Raegan questioned dryly.

Her eyes were twinkling, like she already knew her sister would refuse to answer but she wanted to hear her say it. Raegan wasn't vindictive or anything but she wanted her sister to speak.

"I'm not telling yet." Elaery said easily.

"When will you tell us?" Raegan questioned curiously, while popping another grape into her mouth.

"Who cares when she tells us Rae-Rae, she got a date! I mean do you remember the last time Elaery went on a date! Damn that was like 138 years ago." Taercy said and snorted excitedly, she'd been worried for a while that Elae was going to turn into an old spinster.

"Yes I know it's been a long time and that is exactly the reason that I ask her about it. I mean can you honestly say that you trust Elae's judgement when it comes to men... because I can't." Raegan said with a grimace, although the grimace was mainly there because she felt like a bit of a hypocrite. Her judgement in men wasn't all that great and especially not when or if she decided to add Paul to the track record.

"Can you two stop talking about me as if I'm not sitting right beside you?" Elae began quietly while she licked her dry lips nervously, her eyes widening a little while he prepared herself for what to say next.

"I know that this isn't normal for me and I know that it has been a while since I actually been on a date but I promise you, my judgement is not poor with this one." Elae finished and blinked sincere wide eyes at. Her sister's, making both Rae and Tae press their lips together, wondering whether or not to trust the man Elae was going to go out with, Because it was a matter of trust towards the man rather than towards Elae.

 _ **XXXX**_

 _ **Third**_

Elaery was on cloud nine.

Jared was absolutely absolutely perfect, It was actually almost ridiculous how perfect he was, he'd met her in the restaurant at Seattle at the exact time he told her he was going to, they'd had lunch and now he was taking a leisurely stroll with her in a park somewhere in Seattle, she hadn't really paid attention to what park they were at or where they were walking, she'd felt so safe and secure around him that she barely felt the need to question him on any decision he made for them.

Jared was truly everything she wanted in a man, He'd asked her questions without seeming nosy, he'd shown off his intelligence without appearing arrogant and he seemed to be aware of the effect his physical appearance had on her without being cocky.

It was very different from Darren In a negative and positive way.

"Why did you want to have lunch all the way in Seattle?" Elae questioned, really curious as to why he'd take her so far in the first place.

The long haired Crane sister noticed the look that passed over Jared's face when she'd asked why he'd taken her so far but Elaery also knew that inquiring him about such a look would ruin the Magical atmosphere they'd created together and Elae just really didn't want to ruin that.

"I just felt like it."

Elae clicked her tongue and hummed, she would honestly be satisfied with whatever answer he gave her, because even if it was something she wanted to know, she would revisit it at a later moment when she wasn't entirely relaxed, she would wait for a moment where it wasn't the first moment of peace she'd had in almost two years time.

She'd deal with any red flags later, for now Jared was so amazingly good at making her forget everything going on in her life at the moment, and that instantly gave him a free pass in her book.

"You're satisfied with that answer?" Jared asked curiously, Elaery noticed his eyes glistening with surprise and it was kind or weirdly amusing to her.

"Shouldn't I be?" The eldest Crane sister questioned. She was a little amused, because she didn't really understand the very confused look on Jared's face, it almost looked out of place on his usually very bright expressive face.

"No.." Jared said, his eyes honest and so wide that Elae felt she could read him through it. She almost felt like he was trying to give her acces to him, to the most intimate parts of himself, like he was both berating and thanking her for trusting him .

She found it confusing.

"You can be upset, I was just awaiting your reaction, to my obvious lie but you knew I was lying and still you just accepted it." Jared said while his eyes glanced down towards Elae's swinging hand for a moment.

Elae cocked her head to the side and glanced at him only momentarily, she didn't want to give away too much about the emotions she was trying to hide behind her eyelids.

"This is our first date Jared, you're entitled to your privacy." Elae shrugged, thinking that perhaps she was trusting him a little too much but she was too entranced by his warm aura to care. "Besides, I am totally fine with a little distance from Lapush at the moment." The Eldest Crane sister said and shrugged blithely.

Because there were many reasons why she didn't want to tell her sisters about Jared yet, and the fact that Jared had no desire to be seen in Lapush with her was ironically enough just making things easier for her.

"Why?" Jared questioned while he boldly reached down and grabbed a hold off her hand.

"My sisters are just a lot to handle and I want t0 get to know you better before I throw you to the wolves." And while Elae was laughing while she said it she couldn't help but think that it was a little sad that she was scared about what Jared would think about her sisters, she wished she had sister's that were a little more susceptible to her needs so she knew that they would at least try to behave for her sake

But her sisters always did what they wanted..

And always at the cost off her relationships..

"Your sisters seem like a handful." Jared said while an easy smile spread out over his face,

"They are, and the worst part is they're more like the rest of my families than I am, Which often makes me the odd one out.." Elae was lost in the trees while she squeezed Jared's hand a little tighter and held back the urge to let the tears fall out of her eyes.

It was a little sad that she was a grown ass woman and she still had the urge to cry whenever these topics were brought up. But it was a reality she often had to face because she'd dedicated a lot off her life to her family.

"I think you're Amazing." Jared said while he looked up at the trees with her, Elae was sure he'd already noticed the fact that she was holding back tears but he was tastefully trying to give her a moment to get it together while also giving her support and encouragement.

"And I think you're very sweet for saying that." She said, although she knew the look on her face said the opposite.

"But you don't believe me?" Jared said. The look in his eyes rolling with incredulity.

Elae didn't really know what to respond to him. She didn't believe him but she also believed that the look in his eyes was sincere and that he really thought she was.

She just didn't think that his perception. of her was accurate.

And before Elae knew it, the tears she was trying so hard to hold back were falling down her cheek.

She was weeping. And for what she didn't exactly know, she didnt know whether she was crying because her self esteem was shit.

Or whether she was crying because there was a man in front of her with complete sincerity shining in his eyes and the cynical side off her had to ruin it.

Jared smiled brightly, like he was amused. And it only made Elae cry more.

The tall and imposing human being took a step forward and swiped his thumb over Elae's cheek, wiping away one of the salty tears running down her cheek.

"Why are you crying?" He questioned curiously.

His face deadly serious, but his hands surprisingly gentle.

Elae remained quiet, and Jared leaned forward and kissed away two pearly tears that were rolling down her cheek.

"Because I'm tired.." she said softly, a little surprised by the tender gesture.

"That's okay, you can lean on me." Jared said with a gentle smile.

Elae pressed her eyes closed and threw herself into his arms. Immediately grateful for his embrace and his willingness to accept her worthless tears into his being. She hadn't ever felt such overwhelmed feelings for anybody.

And it was both scary and amazing.


End file.
